Having kids is and should ultimately be the decision of the folks who will have to put in the work to raise them. So it’s not surprising that some couples choose to be childless. However, there are still some folks out there who insist that they get a say in other people’s decisions.
A woman asked the internet if she was wrong to refuse to adopt her nephew because she and her partner chose to be childfree. Despite the fact that her cousin was willing and able to take the boy in, her parents kept pushing her to adopt. We got in touch with the woman who asked for advice online and she was kind enough to answer some of our questions.
Adopting the kids of a family member who can’t look after them is not a terrible idea
Image credits: Vika Glitter / pexels (not the actual photo)
But one childless couple ended up being constantly pressured to take in their nephew
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: yellowtankship
The post went viral quite quickly
Bored Panda got in touch with the netizen who shared the request for advice online and they were kind enough to answer some of our questions. Firstly, we wanted to know some more about the decision to reach out to the internet. “I posted on R/childfree looking for some advice that wasn’t my friends or partner. I was feeling selfish for not wanting to adopt my nephew but then told myself not to because I chose not to be a parent.”
“I had a wonderful childhood and wonderful parents, BUT I also remember the sacrifices my parents made to make sure my half sister and I had what we needed. I don’t want to sacrifice more than I already do in life,” she shared with Bored Panda. After all, one does not have to look far to find other examples of parents needing to frequently drop everything for their kids. These days, for a variety of reasons, the number of childfree couples is actually growing.
We were also curious to hear her thoughts on some of the comments, reactions and suggestions. “I was blown away by the comments. I was overjoyed with how many comments were supporting my decision and encouraging me to stick to it, if that’s what I truly want. There were a few that really made me think about how my mother acts about the situation. My dad started his cancer treatment earlier than we expected so the end of life planning with the lawyer has been delayed. Neither my mother nor father has mentioned it since last Monday.”
Image credits: Maksim Goncharenok / pexels (not the actual photo)
Being childfree doesn’t mean that someone doesn’t like kids
We also wanted to hear her thoughts on the overarching question and why so many netizens found the thread to be engaging. “I think people were intrigued by the post because of how society grooms us to believe everyone’s duty is to be a parent. I am so happy that child-free people are speaking up.”
“I would like to add that I LOVE my niece and nephew. My niece is 20 and starting her own life. My nephew is six and I love his imagination and ideas. I know I can’t be the parent he needs. I have too much hate and resentment toward his biological mother. It would not be fair to him,” she shared.
It’s hard to imagine a successful relationship where both parties disagree on whether to have kids. Inevitably, this will be a point of contention and resentment, no matter what direction the decision goes in. This is why many people tend to make their position known before committing to something long term. Indeed, the question of marriage and kids are, both for and against, are generally the main deciders of a long term relationship.
Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
Netizens shared their thoughts and the woman answered some questions
Others did their best to give some advice
