For Steph and Huw McConachy, losing their beloved first child Arthur less than two days after he was born was the worst time in their lives.
But through the fog of grief in the weeks that followed, the couple began channelling their energy into fundraising for the hospital which had taken care of them.
Arthur, who suffered from birth asphyxia — or lack of oxygen — at an unknown stage in the pregnancy, was born at Flinders Medical Centre in Adelaide's south on February 28, 2021.
Unable to overcome the damage to his organs, and despite the care of medical staff, Arthur passed away after spending a precious 36 hours with his parents.
Steph and Huw now regard Flinders' neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) as Arthur's home for his short life and say the staff worked hard to care for the young family, despite the additional challenge of COVID-19 restrictions on the wards at the time.
"Everyone went above and beyond to try and do what they could for him and literally just threw everything at it," Huw said.
"After that we realised, with follow-up appointments, how much stuff they didn't have. It's the main hospital. If you have issues that's where you end up.
Fundraiser ticks over $109,000
Overseas friends of the couple who were desperate to lend their support set up a $1,000 fundraising page in Arthur's memory, which was quickly surpassed.
Determined to direct their love for Arthur into something positive, Steph and Huw took over the fundraiser, naming it Arthur's Fund, so they could work with the Flinders Foundation to purchase equipment on the NICU's wish list.
"We wanted to do something tangible with the fundraising for Flinders," Steph said.
"We didn't want to just fundraise. We wanted to fundraise for specific items."
Upping their target to $10,000, then quickly to $38,000, Steph and Huw held their first official events — quiz nights bringing together their community in Port Elliot, on South Australia's Fleurieu Peninsula, and in Adelaide.
It was at those events the couple shared what pieces of equipment the funds were being used to purchase.
To date, they've bought a pre-term incubator, defibrillator, and much-needed breast pumps, amongst other things.
"One of the items we've raised money for was a height-adjustable bassinet, so if you've had a C-section … it's easier for the mum to be on the same level as the baby," Steph said.
"This bassinet could then hold all the life support material for the baby, so the baby could go outside or somewhere else.
With a third event, a "dark disco" held in Port Elliot in June, Arthur's Fund has now raised more than $109,000 for the Flinders Foundation.
Looking forward while keeping Arthur close
Now the couple has hit their target of $100,000, they plan to continue fundraising for other organisations in Arthur's memory.
Steph is also working with experts on a website providing sensitively prepared information on post-partum care for new mothers who have lost their babies.
"When people are talking to you they're not talking to you like you've just given birth … it's not acknowledged.
"So that's been part of our approach, it's how can we help other people in this situation as well."
Steph and Huw said one of the nicer parts of what they had gone through was the relationships built with the NICU staff at Flinders.
"That was Arthur's home and I actually find it quite comforting going back there," Steph said.
"We've had a lot of Arthur's doctors and nurses come to the fundraisers so that's been amazing to see them all again."
And now the couple is looking forward to sharing something else with Arthur's medical team — his new brother or sister, due in August.
"Like I was saying to Huw, I really just can't wait to take this baby in to go and see them and say 'hi'," Steph said.
"To see all the midwives and everyone who was with us for the worst part of our lives … and the best part of our lives, in a lot of ways, too."
