Outward affection wasn’t part of my culture growing up. I have made a different decision as a mother

‘I tell my kids I love them, kiss and hug them all the time,’ says Gianna, who moved to Australia from Taiwan at age three. ‘I feel it’s something I lacked growing up.’ Photograph: MoMo Productions/Getty Images

Can you imagine not giving your kids a kiss goodnight? Or not giving them a big hug before dropping them off to school? My parents didn’t do either of these things. I was born in Australia and thought it was totally normal until I started primary school, where I was one of only three Chinese girls. I began to notice my western friends’ parents squeezed them and said, “I love you” at the school gates.

At the same time, I noticed other Chinese families, like ours, didn’t show that kind of affection. I slowly accepted that it wasn’t part of my Chinese culture, and never questioned it.