A few years ago a British newspaper published a thousand-word article about Ousmane Dembélé not going to a notorious Spanish sex club.
The article featured 14 photos of the notorious sex club Dembélé had never been to, including one of a frightening sex-crucifix Dembélé had never been lashed to, and another of a Spiderman-style sex-net Dembélé would never find himself contorted around in the grip of tearful public ecstasy. There was even a greasy close-up of the sex-doorbell Dembélé would never furtively press, go anywhere near, or be aware of existing.
