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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Entertainment
Dominik Diamond

Our family Mario Kart tournaments are back – can I avoid getting pasted?

Nintendo
Mario Kart 8
The unspooler of sanity … Mario Kart 8. Photograph: Nintendo

I am dying. Either aged 84 or 54, according to the two extremes of life expectancy calculator I found online, which is worrying because I am 55 in December. I’m running out of time to do the things I dream of: see Machu Picchu; find a good vegan sausage; beat my kids at Mario Kart again.

It was our number one family game until they started massacring me so gleefully I was forced into acts of petty revenge: namely, taking things of theirs they loved and secretly giving them to charity shops. They still miss that cat.

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