Much that is written and discussed about personal finance understandably revolves around tools and strategies for accumulating wealth and saving money.
Author Arthur Brooks, who teaches courses on leadership, happiness and social entrepreneurship at Harvard, suggests that taking control of your emotional well-being as a first priority is as important as anything.
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In an exclusive interview, Brooks recently sat down at the New York Stock Exchange with TheStreet's Conway Gittens to examine some of the principles in "Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier," a 2023 book he co-wrote with Oprah Winfrey.
Gittens asked Brooks about the topic of envy, something addressed extensively in the book.
"We see people on Instagram, we want to be like them," Gittens suggested as an example. "We want what they have. We think it's going to make us happy."
Brooks explained his views on some characteristics of being human and how those play into unfortunate feelings that aren't helpful for people looking to achieve happiness.
But he also offered some thoughts about how to change habits and behave in more healthy ways.
Brooks explains how social media increases envy and encourages debt
Asked what role social media plays in peoples' sense of self, Brooks talked about the desire to want what others have.
"The reason we think that's going to make us happy is not because of the thing, but because of what it represents," Brooks said. "We are a hierarchical, kin-based species. Human beings are, you know, we come from these kin-based groups where you know the rank order of who these people are. And how do you know that somebody's higher order in the kin and among your kin and your tribe?"
"The answer is they have more stuff," Brooks continued. "They have more access to resources. So therefore, if we can demonstrate that we have more resources than we need, we're saying that we're higher in the hierarchy and that's really pleasurable, or so it seems."
Brooks talked more specifically about how social media can exacerbate envy.
"The reason that's become a lot more of an issue in people's lives is because social media has made it possible for us to consume an impression of people we would never have access to before," he said. "You know, I can look at famous movie stars and say, 'Wow, look at the life that they're leading. That shows that they're important, that shows that they're high in the hierarchy. I want that.'"
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"So how am I going to get it?" Brooks asked. "By having enough money to do that. I don't have it right now. I'm going to go borrow. Then I'll be happy."
"It's not true," he continued. "It's a trick. And so you've got to protect yourself by saying, look, this medium is taking over my brain. It's leading me to have false assumptions and wrongful expectations."
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The relationship between knowledge and free will
Gittens suggested to Brooks that human beings, throughout history, seem to have acted as though they are hard-wired to want what other people have, even attributing that trait to causing conflict and war.
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"Well, we're not hard-wired. We're soft-wired. And, you know, the truth is that we have free will as well," Brooks said. "That's one of the reasons that I teach happiness at Harvard, because when you have the knowledge, you can change your habits and you can say 'I'm doing that thing again, I'm doing that crazy thing again. I'm comparing myself to other people because it's the thing I saw on social media.'"
"And as soon as you realize that, then you're free. You're really free yourself," he added. "Knowledge is power for people when they understand these natural evolved tendencies. It's soft-wiring, not hard-wiring and knowledge will get you around that soft-wiring."
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