NOTE: this post contains spoilers for Only Murders in the Building season 3 episode 4, "The White Room."
It is another week of conflicting concerns for the podcast trio, as Mabel (Selena Gomez) is keen to explore the Kimber (Ashley Park) lead, Charles struggles with his new living situation and the musical and Oliver (Martin Short) is uncharacteristically shy when it comes to his love life. Plus, someone from the past returns and another suspect is added to the list.
A new roommate
Charles has been dating makeup artist Joy (Andrea Martin) for over a year, so the next step is for Joy to move into the Arconia.
"You don't feel suffocated?" she asks Charles when surveying her aquarium and various exercise equipment taking up space. "No way," is his confident response.
The pair first met in the makeup trailer 35 years ago, and Joy reflects on how it is a dream come true that this is where they have ended up — especially as she thought he would end up alone. She wants to celebrate this cohabitation milestone with another a third trip to the fish store, but Charles has a patter song to learn.
Joy helpfully saves viewers who aren't fluent in musical theater a trip to Wikipedia by asking what a patter song is. Gilbert and Sullivan made this lyrical tongue-twister popular, which Charles explains as "speed singing information dump they always give to the guy who can't sing. It's basically a rap." Charles was already nervous about doing a straight play; this solo is even more nerve-wracking. Thankfully, Joy is great at hyping him up.
The White Room
At Oliver's apartment, Mabel wants to talk about the case before the rehearsal starts, as she is keen to check the Goosebury Theater's backstage area for clues that might incriminate Kimber. Oliver is distracted by his burgeoning romance but still asks Mabel to find a suspect who isn't one of his best singers. He also points out that she has "two million Tik-Toky people." Mabel thinks the fight Tobert (Jesse Williams) caught on his camera was with a lover, which also fits the apology Ben (Paul Rudd) gave Kimber at the afterparty. Plus, her anti-aging serum is a perfect way to administer poison.
Meanwhile, Charles takes his first attempt at "Which of the Pickwick Triplets Did It?" and it is a catastrophe. The scene cuts from Charles in a curse-word spirl to him dressed all in white in a wall-to-wall white room. When he comes to, the rest of the cast looks on in horror, but each experienced this stage-acting response to failing on stage known as "The White Room." Jonathan (Jason Veasey) explains the trick to overcoming the white room is to "find your happy place." He has six weeks find his happy place and master the lyrics.
Charles initially finds success in his kitchen making omelets, but Joy thinks this method is a one-time-only crutch.
Anti-aging serum and lipstick messages
While Charles tries to solve his stage fright issue, Mabel and Oliver head to the Goosebury Theater to look for evidence. The opening night floral arrangements give the backstage area a rather pungent aroma (Oliver says it "smells like Jerry Orbach's laundry basket"). The pair are shocked to find Kimber in her dressing room.
Kimber has been using the space as a place to run her beauty empire side hustle, but her presence throws a wrench in the works. When Charles arrives to help, they decide Mabel will attempt to draw the truth out of Kimber while the guys search Ben's locked dressing room.
Rather than opt for subtlety, Mabel asks if Kimber was having a "showmance" with the leading man. Kimber is frustrated at how Mabel jumped to the cliche conclusion. She wasn't looking to hook up with Ben in the traditional way, she wanted an endorsement from the A-list movie star for her anti-aging serum (the secret recipe is Vaseline and club soda mixed), but he backed out at the last minute. And the reason Kimber doesn't have her hanky? She sold it on eBay for $100, which she now regrets.
While it seems Kimber isn't the killer, she gives Mabel some helpful intel. On opening night, Ben was worried about a red mark on his face and called in an unnamed expert to cover it up. Kimber says the redness was gone when she saw him later.
Meanwhile in Ben's dressing room, the guys notice someone has written on his mirror "F***ING PIG" in lipstick. Could this be the work of the person who covered up the blemish?
The return of Cinda Canning
Mabel takes the lipstick evidence before meeting with the person who has been texting and ringing her all episode. It's a now-blonde Cinda Canning (Tina Fey) who welcomes Mabel into her new Goop-style office, but she is ready to ditch the Gwyneth Paltrow wellness aesthetic to return to true crime.
Cinda pitches "The Bloody Mabel Show," but Mabel is clear she is still working with her guys. Cinda knows Oliver and Charles are distracted and leaves the offer on the table.
A surprise proposal
At the Arconia, Charles mimes making an omelet while doing the patter song, but Oliver hates the hand movements and insists he does it without them. When Charles takes another trip to the white room, rehearsal finishes early. Oliver suggests the song isn't the issue, but rather he is overthinking Joy moving in. Charles points out that Oliver is doing the same as he hasn't asked Loretta (Meryl Streep) out yet, which causes him to text asking her for dinner.
Charles returns home with a plan to tell Joy he isn't ready for cohabitation, but he ends up in the White Room. Instead, he asks her to marry him during this spiral. Oliver and Mabel arrive after Charles has popped the question. Joy is also thrilled to see Mabel has found her lipstick. Yep, that lipstick. Has Charles fallen for another killer?
New episodes of Only Murders in the Building season 3 release Tuesdays on Hulu in the US and Disney Plus in the UK.
