Cleanliness is next to godliness, unless you happen to be a washed-up girl band singer with dubious taste in men.
Mum-of-five Kerry Katona has been airing her dirty washing in a public scrap with telly's Stacey Solomon over how often you should wash your bed sheets.
Stacey, a famously house-proud mum-of-five, this week drew a line in the Surf and stuck her clean credentials on the line by recommending a once-a-week wash day.
Meanwhile, Kerry – the 42-year-old former Atomic Kitten, who once seemed to change her boyfriends more often than her sheets – revealed she only gives her bedding a spin every fortnight.
Mind you, Stacey, who shares her Insta-perfect life with husband Joe Swash, makes a living offering handy hints to her millions of social media followers.
It's hard to reconcile Kerry's new eco-warrior credentials with her role as our patron saint of large families but she reveals she is doing her bit to save the planet.
She urged her followers: "Share the same bleeding towel! It's not good for the environment, or your energy bills, to keep washing them. It's the same as bed sheets. I probably change mine every fortnight."
I thought hell would freeze over before I found myself agreeing with the Greta of the North, but I think we all wash ourselves, our clothes and household linen far too much. Unless you are a sweaty teenager or a very amorous couple, once a fortnight is perfectly fine.
Before we had washing machines and dryers, Monday used to be wash day. I remember my granny dragging the twin tub out in the 1970s and for hours the house would be full of steam.
Doing laundry was hard work and items were not washed unless they needed it – beds were done every three weeks, then were stuck on the line in all weathers to "dry".
I don't think I slept in a dry bed until pink nylon drip-dry sheets were invented.
Those paragons of health and hygiene at Good Housekeeping say bedding should be washed at least once a fortnight, and the Sleep Foundation recommends every three to four days if pets sleep on your bed.
As I share my bed with a couple of hairy, smelly dirtballs, I often sling my linen in the machine far more regularly.
And to be fair, so did Kerry, until she divorced them.
But there's nothing worse than a minging bed to put you off a roll in the sheets. The only stripping you want to think about is getting your clothes off, not having to peel the sheets off a filthy bed.
A friend admits that she didn't change her sheets for six months while staying in Greece when she was younger. I'd say that was pretty fastidious for a student, especially as the ones I know also use their beds as food storage facilities.
It's not always men who are the worst – a male friend told me he once went back to a young lady's room and in the throes of passion had to ask for a change of sheets.
It is a law of nature though that the very group who need to wash themselves most, do so the least.
My malodorous teenager, Jesse – otherwise known as The Dark Lord – is violently opposed to any sort of regular washing.
There are so many empty loo rolls, socks and half-chewed lumps of carrot and apple in her sheets, it looks like a hamster's burrow.
When the smell of sheets begins to infect the entire house, I knock on her bedroom door in a pair of Marigolds, and yell: "Open up! It's time to wash your hamster bedding and let the flies out."
"What? No," she shrieks. "You already did them this month!"
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