Not invited to the coronation? Celebrate here with a chip butty, some mushy peas and maybe a pint of good English ale

Even if you’re not going to be inside Westminster Abbey Saturday, you can still show your enthusiasm for the coronation. (Getty)

I’m guessing you haven’t been invited to Charles and Camilla’s coronation on Saturday.

I haven’t either, which is a bit surprising given my lineage: My great-great-grandfather was a cobbler and a breeder of champion chickens in England; my great-grandfather was the manager of a London bus depot until he got caught drinking on the job and was demoted to bus driver — or so the story goes.