A bench in Bristol installed facing a brick wall has aroused local curiosity – why put it there? BBC West commented that it joined other perversely placed seating: “a bench in Shirehampton facing a derelict building … and one in Wedmore facing a hedge”. Bristol city council explained that when it plants a planned tree, the bench will provide a shady spot to rest on a steep hill, but promised to “review” the placement.
My first thought was that facing a brick wall could be meditative – I quite like staring at nothing – but my second was, “Surely York, where I live, is too beautiful to have benches with similarly terrible views?” Time for a benchmarking trip.
I swiftly realise no bench is at its best on a rainy February afternoon, not even ones overlooking glorious medieval architecture, and it doesn’t take me long to find some that aren’t ideally situated. Peasholme Green’s benches, arranged around a planter and themselves green (with algae), offer several extremely mid views. From one angle you can look along the road to a building site and an uncompromisingly 1950s telephone exchange building with a giant mast; from another you can stare at your own pasty face in a plate-glass office window. Heading further into the tourist heart of the city, I bypass several bellowing Vikings in Coppergate to find a bench facing a wall, albeit featuring Fenwick’s staff entrance and a public toilet.
The worst benches, though, are those that have been installed with their back to a pleasant vista. One looks towards a row of bollards rather than the ancient city walls just behind it; another turns its back to the willow-lined banks of the River Foss, where I sometimes spot kingfishers, in favour of Morrisons’ petrol station and a busy junction.
But walking around for hours, I get quite tired, and realise that sometimes the view is irrelevant and you just need a sit down. Benches, however unlovely their aspect, are an important act of civic kindness. Well, except for backless benches, which have become regrettably, uncomfortably common (lumbar support? In this economy?). It’s time to bring back backs.
• Emma Beddington is a Guardian columnist
