Kids need discipline, but it’s the parents’ job to figure out what forms of it are appropriate for them. In the past, corporal punishment was the norm. In fact, in one study, a whopping 55% of adults said they were spanked as children. As a result, many of them swear never to spank their own kids.
So did these parents, but they ran into a disagreement with the grandma. To her, their no physical punishment rule seemed laughable, and she said she would still do it because her generation “turned out just fine.” After hearing that, the parents had to make a choice: protect their daughter or allow the grandma to make her own rules.
A grandma refused to adhere to the parents’ discipline rules and lost the right to see her granddaughter alone
Image credits: blancoturquesaphoto / freepik (not the actual photo)
After the topic of spanking came up, she refused to listen to the parents and said she would do it if needed
Image credits: bokodi / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: rawpixel.com / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: bless-their-hearts
Spanking and other kinds of physical punishment are considered child maltreatment
Older generations like to use the argument that they “turned out just fine” when they justify physical punishment. But what does “turning out fine” mean exactly? That a person is still there, alive? That they’re able to function in society, go to work every day, cook for themselves, raise kids, and so on?
If that’s the criterion, then it’s a pretty low bar. Just because a person is walking this Earth, it doesn’t mean that they’re happy. When parents who spanked their children say that they “turned out just fine,” they often ignore the traumas and mental health problems that stem from corporal punishment.
Experts all around the world agree that physical punishment for children is equal to maltreatment. Spanking a child is not just a form of discipline – it’s a form of violence against a child. What’s worse is that this violence comes from parents, the people who are supposed to provide safety and comfort.
According to the World Health Organization, children who experience physical forms of punishment show increased behavioral problems, grow up to be more anxious, and sometimes even depressed. The expert consensus is that there are no positive outcomes of spanking children.
Nevertheless, many parents around the world still choose to do it. The WHO estimates that about 1.2 billion children all over the globe suffer physical punishment at home every year. It doesn’t matter if they’re a boy or a girl, if they come from a wealthy or a poor family – the likelihood of getting spanked is still there.
Some parents still spank their kids, but it’s an outdated parenting technique
Although many public health officials (like the American Academy of Pediatrics) urge parents to find alternative ways to discipline, many parents still spank their children. In Australia, for example, one in four parents thinks it’s necessary to smack children in order to “properly raise” them.
When a parent was spanked as a child, they’re more likely to discipline their own kid by using physical force. Granted, it happens less frequently in this generation, as Gen Z and Millennial parents are the least likely to spank their children.
According to a recent Canadian study, about 20% of parents aged 18 to 42 said “yes” when asked if they spank their kids. Many of them were physically punished as children; 55.6% admitted they had been physically punished at least three times during childhood.
There is no argument for continuing to hit children, says one of the authors of the study, Tracie Afifi, a professor at the University of Manitoba and Canada Research Chair in child adversity and resilience. “All the science is against it.”
Spanking doesn’t mean that parents don’t love their child. On the contrary – they might be operating under a misguided notion that this will somehow benefit the child in the future. “They’re just using old, outdated information, old parenting advice that we gave 40 years ago,” Afifi says.
Some parents, thus, may find it hard to move away from their own parents’ influence. “Older generations would encourage new parenting generations, ‘This is how you raise children,'” Afifi added. Not the mother in this story, though – she was strong enough to stand up for her daughter and draw a hard line. More parents should do so nowadays for the sake of their children.
“I know she would have hit her without asking,” the mom wrote in the comments
The commenters sided with the parents, calling out the MIL’s outdated views on corporal punishment
