British Asian women are living in fear at the hands of abusive partners in the home and too afraid to speak out because of the cultural challenges they still face, The Independent has been told.
Radio presenter and broadcaster Nikita Kanda says women across the UK continue to battle the stigma, societal pressure and fear of dishonour that was prevalent in society decades ago.
The BBC One Show journalist says many women do not seek help for domestic abuse because they fear what their friends, family and community will think.
“In my community, I feel like people want to push it under the rug and for it not to be spoken about,” she said. “But for me, enough is enough and we need to stamp it out.”
The 28-year-old has chosen to speak about her own experience in support of The Independent‘s Brick by Brick campaign, in partnership with Refuge, which is raising money to build safe homes for women, children and their pets.
Having smashed the original target of £300,000 and kickstarted the national conversation about domestic abuse, the campaign is now raising money for a second property.
Be a brick, buy a brick and donate here or text BRICK to 70560 to donate £15
Behind her positive and bubbly exterior, entertaining the nation on BBC Asian Network Breakfast Show, Kanda said she still suffers flashbacks from the violence she experienced as a child.
“There is a big stigma about domestic abuse in the Asian community, and I’ve experienced it myself,” the 2023 Strictly Come Dancing contestant explains.
“Women stay in violent homes because they are afraid of what other people in the community will think or say. I’ve got friends that are going through domestic abuse and their mindset is still the same as 20 to 30 years ago.”
Kanda’s friend was beaten so badly by a partner her ribs broke, while another woman the presenter knows was locked away in a room at the hands of her abuser, injected with drugs, and not allowed to use the toilet.
Throughout their horrific ordeals, these women feared what the community’s reaction would be if they spoke out.
Kanda says: “It shouldn’t be like that. It should be about a woman’s safety, and if she’s going to be alive or not, that should be the main priority here.”
She fears Asian women experiencing domestic abuse think it is normal because they have witnessed it growing up: “I need people to know that this is not what happens and that it should not be allowed.”
Kanda's fears come as UK-based Freedom Charity, set up to support female victims of abuse within the UK's South Asian community, warns of a "pressure cooker" situation.
Aneeta Prem from the charity, said the Covid-19 pandemic exposed a profound crisis within the community, as many women were unwittingly confined with their abusers.
She explained how lockdown intensified existing tensions, but also brought new cases of abuse to light as calls to Freedom Charity significantly increased.
Discussing the pandemic's long-term implications, Prem said: “We failed a whole generation.
"The closure of schools and safe spaces meant that many young girls were subjected to oppressive environments. This alarming situation led to a concerning number of unaccounted young women, underlining the need for urgent intervention."
Building on her own harrowing experiences, Kanda now works closely with Refuge in a bid to help women in the Asian community.
“People will look at me and think that I’ve never gone through anything horrific, but it has happened to me and I have a responsibility to use my platform to speak out about it,” she says.
“If you’re going through it, you’re not alone and there are options available.
“I think a lot of people in the Asian community think that they have nowhere to go. They might not have a lot of family here or they think they are in a financial situation they can’t leave and they have children.
“For many women in the Asian community, they think children will only grow up happy if they are in a family unit of a mother and a father; they can’t see past that.”
Kanda says in the majority of cases, domestic abuse in the Asian community happens behind closed doors, with women putting on a brave face when out in public.
“They are told to act normal, do their duties and pretend that everything’s fine. The abuser will appear to be the nicest person to everyone else while out in public, but behind closed doors it’s a very different story.”
Kanda is urging women in Asian communities to keep a close eye on their friends and family and look out for signs of domestic abuse: “They could tell you about something small that has happened.
“It could be the mention of an argument, or ‘he really got angry’. You might think it’s a small thing they’re telling you, but it might be because they’re only comfortable with telling you that small thing, and there could be something larger going on.
“Listen to what they’re saying and believe them.”
Kanda hopes by speaking up for women in the Asian community she can reach those who need help: “There is a light at the end of the tunnel, as cheesy as it sounds, there is. I am proof.”
Please donate now to the Brick by Brick campaign, launched by The Independent and charity Refuge, to help raise £300,000 to build a safe space for women where they can escape domestic abuse, rebuild their lives, and make new futures.
If you or someone you know is affected by domestic abuse, you can contact Refuge’s national domestic abuse helpline for free, confidential support at 0808 2000 247.
Be a brick, buy a brick and donate here or text BRICK to 70560 to donate £15
