Nick Cannon is on the mend after being hospitalized with pneumonia Friday.
Although he said he’s improving mentally, the “Masked Singer” host wrote Monday that “spiritually I’m broken” as he marked a year since his infant son’s death.
The father of 11 wrote a heartfelt post focusing on the loss of his and model Alyssa Scott’s son Zen, who died around 5 months of age due to a brain tumor. (Cannon is currently expecting a second child with Scott and a third with DJ Abby De La Rosa.)
“Physically I’m definitely on the mend but Mentally and Spiritually I’m broken. Been tossing and turning all night, and as much as I know I need rest, last night I couldn’t sleep at all,” the 42-year-old star wrote on Instagram, sharing images of his late son.
“I can’t believe it’s been a year already since the toughest day of my life occurred. Such a painful anniversary. Losing a child has to be the heaviest, most dark and depressive experiences that I will never get over. A mixture of guilt, pain, and sorrow is what I suppress daily. I am far from perfect and often fall short and make decisions in my life that many question, but anyone who knows me knows my heart. I love hard, I love big and I love with my entire Heart and Soul and I just wish my Little Man could’ve felt more of that love while he was here on Earth,” he added.
The “Drumline” and “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” star said that a spiritual leader recently told him that he’s “in the midst of one of the most challenging seasons” of his life, but encouraged him to be steadfast, know that all of this will make him stronger and to not lean on his own understanding “but to rely on the peace that surpasses all.”
“But let me tell you, it’s tough…" Cannon admitted."I know a few days ago I wrote a post from my hospital bed saying I will be okay and I just needed rest so don’t waste your prayers on me but I can definitely use those prayers right now… Continue to Peacefully Rest My Son, Zen Scott Cannon. We Love you Eternally (heard, bandage and prayer emojis)."
Indeed, on Friday, Cannon told his followers that he had pneumonia but didn’t need their well wishes or prayers when posting an image of himself in a hospital bed attached to medical devices. At the time, the host, who also has lupus, said he’s “not Superman” and that he’d promised himself he “would never be back at this place again”
“Great lesson to take care of YOU or YOU won’t be able to take care of everyone else,” he said, adding, “Don’t trip though, I don’t need any well wishes or prayers just some solid rest and I will be back on the journey to becoming stronger than ever…" he said, noting that the lung infection is “nothing I can’t handle.”
“Crazy thing is, last night we was just rocking a sold out crowd at Madison square garden in front of thousands of fans, now I’m all alone in a tiny hospital room. Life is definitely a rollercoaster! #LupusWarrior,” he said.
The radio and TV personality appeared Thursday at Madison Square Garden in New York City to launch his Wild ‘N Out tour based on the sketch/improv show he created and hosts for VH1.
———
