Money can often be a pressure point for couples with financial issues leading to stress and conflict. With couples feeling additional strain as the relentless high cost of living prices continues to squeeze incomes, Advice NI and Relate NI have come together to share their tips and advice.
"Money and relationships are closely intertwined, and our debt advisers see this every day. We recognise that the current climate has made relationships even more vulnerable, and we also know that more people than ever before are feeling the pressure, says Sinead Campbell, Head of Money, Debt & Quality at Advice NI.
"Even in a partnership, financial worry, stress, and debt can make a person feel alone, but talking can be crucial in tackling money issues. Individuals and couples can use our online Money Talks hub that hosts a wealth of free self-help resources such as a budget planner, which can help you to manage household spending, the Consumer Council’s energy comparison tool and the SafeFood Shopping tool, which provides helpful advice for eating well on a budget.
Read more: Almost half of NI consumers cutting back on essentials to make ends meet
"Whilst it isn’t a pleasant thought on Valentine’s Day, we have also seen many couples fall into debt due to a relationship breakdown. It can be hard having to deal with the emotional loss of a relationship, as well as having to readjust the household budget to one person’s income. We’re here to help with avoiding debt as much as we are with managing it, so anyone currently in that position should seek our expert advice as soon as possible."
Duane Farrell, CEO at Relate NI highlights the importance of being open and honest with your partner during difficult times and said: “Debt is often something people feel they have to deal with alone, but in our experience we encourage openness in relationships. Secrecy can cause couples to drift apart, and often bring about additional negative feelings of distrust, guilt and disappointment. If financial difficulties are causing stress in your relationship you can avail of Relate NI’s One at A Time Therapy service which can be really helpful in turning the situation around”.
Duane also highlights that money can often be a trigger in controlling relationships. He said: “Unhealthy relationships can manifest themselves in controlling behaviour, such as one partner not having access to or understanding of household finances. This can take its toll on our mental well-being and impact our ability to think clearly and make informed decisions. If you are experiencing stress or mental health difficulties in your relationship we suggest opening up to a trusted friend, family member or get in touch to avail of our relationship support service.”
Finally, Sinead reminds people that debt is no longer a taboo subject, and so any person or couple struggling should not feel alone, as there is help available.
"Aside from the current climate, most people are a single unfortunate life event away from financial difficulty. Whether it’s an unexpected illness, a redundancy, or a health emergency. Debt can happen for lots of different reasons and so it is nothing to feel embarrassed or ashamed of. During 2022, we supported over 4,000 households deal with over £35.2 million in debt, which hopefully helps people understand that they are not alone and that debt is more common than they might think.
Relate NI is the largest provider of relationship support in Northern Ireland, and last year helped 18,726 people of all ages, backgrounds, sexual orientations and gender identities to strengthen their relationships. Visit relateni.org for more information.
Advice NI and the Independent Advice Network is made up of 64 members and more than 300 advisers across Northern Ireland, all providing free, impartial and confidential advice. To access Advice NI’s money and debt advice service, and free your future, call 0800 915 4604, email advice@adviceni.net or visit adviceni.net/money-debt .
If you or anyone you know is concerned about coercive control and/or abuse, contact the Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline free on 0808 802 1414 or dsahelpline.org/
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