The Chicago Bears continue to reach new levels of futility. And their descent into darkness doesn’t seem like it’s ending any time soon.
On a visit to the Kansas City Chiefs Sunday, the Bears were, quite literally, ran off the field after a half. Matters grew so grim for Chicago that Fox decided to switch off their game (a nationally televised matchup!). Mind you, dear reader, this was a game that featured Taylor Swift (and her budding romance with Travis Kelce) as well as football’s best quarterback, Patrick Mahomes.
That’s right. The Bears — the NFL’s worst team — are so dreadful that the producers of a major American sports network decided they weren’t worth keeping on the TV for the sake of live shots of one of the world’s biggest music stars. Talk about an awkward situation for the league’s charter franchise, which has now lost 14 consecutive games dating back to 2022.
If Chicago loses three more games, they’ll be tied for the seventh-longest streak in NFL history since the NFL-AFL merger in 1966. If they lose six more games, they’ll be tied for the third-longest losing streak. And if they unthinkably lose out the rest of the season — 14 games! — they will be owners of the worst losing streak the league has seen in almost six decades.
Call it a hunch, but I have a feeling many network executives will want the Bears off TVs in the coming weeks. They’re just not worth the trouble right now.
Worst job of analyzing a game: Terry Bradshaw, while failing to remember Desmond Ridder's name
Bradshaw is a football commentator on a prominent national platform. The least he could do is know Desmond Ridder’s name if he could highlight him. And he definitely shouldn’t excuse his knowledge gap like this, either:
"I like [Atlanta's] quarterback out of Cincinnati. What’s his name?… I'll learn his name when he gets good." – Terry Bradshaw on Desmond Ridder pic.twitter.com/ZAzfRusknQ
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) September 24, 2023
Worst job of keeping a play alive: Jordan Love on this botched fourth-down play
The Green Bay Packers ended up stunning the New Orleans Saints in a comeback from 17-0, but no one should forget this awful Jordan Love pass attempt:
The Packers' fourth down attempt did not go well for Jordan Love
📺 FOX pic.twitter.com/PuFWPbe8bA
— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) September 24, 2023
Best job of showing frustration in your team: This Jets fan who was so angry, he lost his teeth
Zach Wilson is terrible, and the Jets are hopeless. In this context, we can forgive this diehard fan for literally losing his teeth while yelling about his team. That’s called passion, folks:
This #Jets fan is so angry his teeth fell out 😂💀 pic.twitter.com/W05Zu2febm
— uSTADIUM App (@uSTADIUM) September 24, 2023
Best job of fooling an entire stadium: Tua Tagovailoa, on this absurd no-look shovel pass
The Dolphins rolled the Denver Broncos Sunday … to the tune of 70 points. And the arguable highlight might have been when Tagovailoa unleashed this sick no-look pass to Devon Achane for a touchdown. The people in Miami’s stadium who saw this coming were the Dolphins:
TUA NO-LOOK SHOVEL PASS TD
📺: #DENvsMIA on CBS
📱: Stream on #NFLPlus https://t.co/UQdQ05hqXN pic.twitter.com/8IYZX0evXg— NFL (@NFL) September 24, 2023
Best job of maintaining composure in an impossible situation: This Falcons fan in Detroit
There are few feelings worse in sports than being a road fan at a game your team is losing. Multiply that awkward feeling when you’re sitting in a sea of the other squad’s fans. This Falcons supporter somehow held it together amid a Lions win over his beloved team, though:
when you're an @AtlantaFalcons fan in Detroit pic.twitter.com/a0udBkOqRX
— NFL (@NFL) September 24, 2023
Worst job of showing on-field awareness: Gardner Minshew, while pulling the latest "Orlovsky"
While the Indianapolis Colts ended up beating the Baltimore Ravens in overtime, Gardner Minshew did his part to lose the game in an embarrassing fashion. Folks, that’s right: He’s the latest “Orlovsky” to step out of bounds in the back of the end zone. Oof.
MINSHEW PULLED AN ORLOVSKY!!! pic.twitter.com/KzQFGsNyOw
— Mr Matthew CFB (@MrMatthew_CFB) September 24, 2023
Best job of ingratiating themselves to another family: Taylor Swift, by sitting with Donna Kelce
Much ink has been and will continue to be spilled about Taylor Swift’s appearance at the Chiefs game against the Bears. But let’s not lose sight of her making it a point to hang out with the Kelce matriarch. That is a woman who definitely knows what she’s doing with her dating game:
In her RED era@taylorswift13 @chiefs pic.twitter.com/WBC1ojI2oD
— NFL (@NFL) September 24, 2023
Best job of calling out an opposing player with a reputation: Sauce Gardner, while ripping Mac Jones
Mac Jones has a history of dirty, between-the-whistles plays. After the Jets’ loss, Sauce Gardner wasn’t having it with the New England Patriots quarterback’s infamous antics:
Sauce Gardner says that Mac Jones hit him in his "private parts" on a QB sneak during the game: pic.twitter.com/MEoO560pOo
— Jets Videos (@snyjets) September 24, 2023
Worst job of showing confidence in his quarterback: Robert Saleh
After another horrific Zach Wilson game, Saleh wanted us to know he still believes in him as the Jets’ starting quarterback. (Narrator: He definitely does NOT believe in Wilson as the Jets’ starting quarterback).
"Right now, he's who gives us the best chance to win."
– Robert Saleh on Zach Wilson remaining the Jets' quarterback pic.twitter.com/AejUXvPlCK
— Jets Videos (@snyjets) September 24, 2023
Best job of winning games for their fantasy managers: Raheem Mostert and Devon Achane
It shouldn’t be lost in the shuffle of the Dolphins’ 50-point win. Mostert and Achane were special on Sunday, accounting for eight touchdowns (four each) and roughly 340 yards from scrimmage. One player’s performance here will win most fantasy matchups.
Pounce on adding either of these two fine gentlemen while you still can.
Best job of playing wingman for a friend: Patrick Mahomes for Travis Kelce
A lot of folks wanted Mahomes to get Kelce a touchdown with Taylor Swift in the stands. After the Chiefs’ win, Mahomes admitted he felt more pressure to get Kelce in the end zone specifically because of who was watching:
“Do you realize how much pressure was on you from the Swifties to get Travis Kelce a touchdown with Taylor in the house today?” – Erin Andrews to Patrick Mahomes. pic.twitter.com/6ZqPfbQtK8
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) September 24, 2023
Best job of being a good teammate: D.J. Moore for a potentially injured Justin Fields
Even as the Bears flailed about aimlessly, Moore was still looking out for his teammates. After Fields seemingly suffered a head injury, the receiver physically took him out of the game. We need to see more of this in the pro game:
Props to DJ Moore for being a good teammate after Justin Fields appeared to be injured pic.twitter.com/4syrSMCAGZ
— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) September 24, 2023