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USA Today Sports Media Group
USA Today Sports Media Group
Sport
Robert Zeglinski

NFL Week 14 Awards: No one wants to win the abysmal NFC South, which is absolutely comical

NFL NFC South (Organization) Taylor Swift Travis Kelce South Christian DAndrea Derek Carr Zach Wilson the NFC South (Organization) Clyde EdwardsHelaire

As I write this, the current leader of the NFC South is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

They are 6-7 and only lead the division by virtue of a narrow tiebreaker over the rival Atlanta Falcons and New Orleans Saints. Only New Orleans possesses a positive point differential among the trio. We are nearly in mid-December, and a division leader doesn’t even have a winning record, nor are we clear on who the favorite should be. It’s almost fair to wonder whether we are watching one of the worst squads of teams (you were not forgotten or spared, Carolina Panthers) in any NFL regular season ever.

What the heck happened here? And which unfortunate non-division-winning playoff team will be the biggest victim of the NFC South champion’s automatic playoff spot? Ugh, that hurts to read.

For one, even when we include the Panthers (especially?), there is zero starting-caliber quarterback play in the entire division.

Bryce Young looks like an unmitigated bust who is the clear victim of an unfortunate first-year mix of chaos. The next time Desmond Ridder avoids a backbreaking red-zone turnover might be the first. Baker Mayfield is a glorified caretaker with a definitive ceiling of “OK, sure.” Derek Carr is Schrodinger’s Quarterback — a player who seemingly has the talent to be a superstar but is almost always curiously lost. What do any of these guys do well? What can they hang their hat on? Someone, please enlighten me if you have any ideas.

None of these South teams have much stability at head coach, either. Frank Reich was relieved of his duties midseason. It took Arthur Smith over two months to realize it’s wise to give more touches to your three top-10 draft picks on offense. Dennis Allen is a defensive guru in over his head with a team that struggles to score points. And Todd Bowles, bless his heart, has a definitive ceiling on his coaching, just like Mayfield. If you really think about it, they’re a match made in heaven.

There are more extenuating factors, of course.

None of these four teams are exceptionally talented or rife with young difference-makers. They are all mediocre underachievers who are woefully underprepared for the rigors of 2023 NFL football. But when we boil this down, the entire NFC South has the worst mix of quarterback and coaching with each participating team of anyone in the league. Bar none. That is the reason why this division will push forward a squad almost certainly not worthy of the playoffs in January. That is the reason why the football this group provides is usually of an atrocious, unwatchable quality that puts people to sleep.

It’s a shame, to be sure. Because when we have this sort of “dud” division, it makes you wonder whether anyone even wants to win the NFC South. Though, I guess that’s likened more to confirmation bias after watching any of the Buccaneers, Falcons, Saints, or Panthers attempt to play football.

Elsewhere in this week’s NFL Awards at For The Win, the Jets, Texans, Vikings, and Raiders all seemed deadset on setting back offensive football in their own unique ways. Meanwhile, a Ravens’ punt returner provided one of the best, most dramatic moments of the entire season. Let’s hop in, dearest readers.

Best tribute to an NFL icon: How the league collectively mourned Frank Wychek

A three-time Pro Bowler and one of the architects of the famous “Music City Miracle,” Tennessee Titans legend Frank Wycheck tragically died at the age of 52 on Saturday. Given the ensuing tribute, he was clearly a beloved pro football figure.

More from our Christian D’Andrea:

“Several legends have pulled on the navy and light blues of the Tennessee Titans since the team relocated from Houston to Nashville. While that includes stars like Eddie George, Steve McNair and Derrick Henry, few have ever matched the production-to-fan-reaction tightrope tight end Frank Wycheck pulled off over nine years with the franchise — and seven in Tennessee.”

Worst display of offensive football to start the day: the Jets and Texans

New York and Houston started its Week 14 matchup with not one, not two, but 11 first-half punts! Not one drive finished with anything but a huge kick downfield to turn over possession to the other team. With a 30-6 final score, you’d have never thought the game started this way.

What on Earth happened here?

Best betting turnaround: Zach Wilson, by coming through with a shocking second half

After that awful first half, you would’ve been forgiven if you wrote off any exciting measure of football in the second stanza. If this was the case, you overlooked the legendary Zach Wilson (?) who enjoyed the game of his life (???). As a result, Wilson helped guide Gang Green to a decisive 24-point win.

Our Prince Grimes says this was one of the wilder ways to reach a pregame over:

“From there, Wilson took over, completing 18-of-21 passes for 209 yards. In the process, he put anyone who bet over on the total on his back, helping to push the score past the 33.5-point line in a 30-6 win. It’s the first game to go over the total after a scoreless first half in the Wild Card era, according to Action Network’s Evan Abrams.”

Worst display of offensive football to end the day: the Vikings and Raiders

If you thought the Jets and Texans put everyone on the fast track to Snoozeville, the Vikings and Raiders were determined to one-up them. Minnesota overcame Las Vegas by a final score of … 3-0.

I mean, c’mon. Are we seeing the forward pass become a legitimate struggle more than usual or something? I have no further comment.

Worst boiled-over tension: Whatever the heck's happening with Derek Carr

The Saints sit near .500 and remain in play for that mentioned awful NFC South. But with how Derek Carr has played intermittently this year, it sure feels like there might be some lingering resentment from his teammates.

Take Erik McCoy in this weird exchange, for example:

Best acknowledgement of the fourth wall: George Kittle, by greeting the broadcast camera

George Kittle is no stranger to playing to the camera. What’s unique about the San Francisco 49ers’ star tight end is how he looks at the camera in moments most other players don’t. He did exactly this when he told us all “s’up” during the 49ers’ blowout win over the Seattle Seahawks.

Never change, George.

Best pregame walk: Taylor Swift, by striding past the Bills in the tunnel

Taylor Swift was once again at a Kansas City Chiefs game to support her boyfriend Travis Kelce. She so happened to walk by just as the Buffalo Bills ran onto the field. If this was a sly move of intimidation to help her partner, that is brilliant.

Best broadcast slip-up: Tony Romo, by inadvertently referring to Taylor Swift as Travis Kelce's "wife"

Tony Romo doesn’t seem to be close personal friends with either of Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift. But was there something more to him referring to Kelce and Swift as if they’re already married?

What does he know??? (Probably nothing and this was just a mistake.)

Best walk-off punt-return touchdown: Tylan Wallace, who iced a clutch Ravens' win

The Ravens are starting to resemble a team of destiny. Even while being ravaged by injuries, Baltimore sits in prime position for the AFC’s top seed and sole postseason bye. There’s no other logical conclusion after watching Tylan Wallace take back a game-winning punt return touchdown to beat the Los Angeles Rams in overtime. According to Lamar Jackson, the walk-off play was like a movie to him.

It’s really hard to disagree:

Funniest pregame stampede: Cowboys fans, who wanted to watched SNF ASAP

Look, the word fan is short for “fanatic.” As avid followers of sports and football, we are not usually known for rational, well-reasoned behavior. That said, this pregame stampede in Dallas to watch the Cowboys battle the rival Philadelphia Eagles is absolutely hilarious.

Folks, the game and your seats aren’t going anywhere if you just walk!

Worst wardrobe malfunction: Clyde Edwards-Helaire, who needed new pants

Usually, if something’s wrong with their equipment, NFL players leave a game to fix their cleats or their helmets. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone need completely new pants like Clyde Edwards-Helaire.

Just an unfortunate moment to capture on camera:

Best return of a wonderful meme: Joe Flacco and "is he elite?"

Good news: Joe Flacco is going to be the Cleveland Browns’ starting quarterback for the remainder of the season as they push for an AFC playoff spot. Even better news: if he continues playing well, we can dig up the “Is Joe Flacco elite?” meme.

When the football gods smile upon us, they are beaming with joy:

Worst case of lost composure: DK Metcalf, by getting ejected from Seahawks-49ers

The Seahawks have lost five of their last six games. Their season is in a complete tailspin. But it’s not over. They can still qualify for the playoffs with a strong finish. Unfortunately, after losing his cool in two separate instances during Sunday’s loss to the 49ers, DK Metcalf might not be prepared for that potential reality.

He simply has to be better than this:

Worst situational awareness: Kadarius Toney, after his offsides call wiped out a lateral TD

Look, most of the time, NFL receivers truly won’t get called for lining up offsides. But that’s either because they’re usually only an inch or two over and they check with referees before the play, who let them know where they’re standing. Kadarius Toney was almost a full step over and never even looked at the officials. He deserves every Taylor Swift “lyric” coming his way.

It is entirely on Toney for blowing this awesome clutch touchdown for the Chiefs:

Worst response to a loss: Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs for throwing an officiating tantrum

The Chiefs only have themselves to blame for losing their fifth game of the 2023 season. For Patrick Mahomes to openly whine about how the referees screwed Kansas City from a win is just rich. It screams sour grapes and how entitled the defending Super Bowl champions have become.

If this is how Mahomes reacts to losing on a call, I’m not sure he’s going to enjoy the rest of 2023:

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