In terms of hype for conference title game rematches, Sunday’s battle between the San Francisco 49ers and Philadelphia Eagles was monumental. There was star power galore, established tension between two heavyweights, and some of the finest football coaches in the game. This should’ve been a back-and-forth affair going down to the wire that kept us on the edge of our seats for three hours.
Then the 49ers turned it into a 42-19 laugher where they embarrassed their top rival. Because that’s what they do.
After all the disrespectful trash talk of the Eagles for the better part of 10 months — from Brandon Aiyuk betting on the Chiefs in Super Bowl 57 and Christian McCaffrey’s petty analysis of the Big Game to George Kittle’s insinuation last year’s NFC title game would’ve been different with a healthy Brock Purdy — the 49ers finally enjoyed sweet, sweet vindication.
I mean, my god, a “Deebo” chant got going in Philadelphia, folks!
The fans in Philly chanting “DEEBO… DEEBO… DEEBO.” #49ers pic.twitter.com/l4xHgPSWzT
— 49ers & NFL News 24/7 (@49ersSportsTalk) December 4, 2023
Even with all of Nick Sirianni’s brash motivational tactics to get his team ready, the 49ers took a needle to the Eagles’ balloon and popped it without mercy. Seriously, after a first quarter where it looked like both squads were feeling each other out, San Francisco flat-out opened the salvos and left Philadelphia’s beloved “birds” in tatters. From right around halfway through the second quarter, the 49ers scored a touchdown on six consecutive possessions. They outgained the Eagles by over 100 yards, gained over eight yards an offensive play, and were effectively perfect on third down.
The Eagles had their [expletive] handed to them. A security guard getting into it with linebacker Dre Greenlaw was probably the most fight anyone associated with Philadelphia showed all day. I legitimately can’t remember another ruthless road whooping of a Super Bowl contender like this.
Somewhere, Deebo Samuel is still sprinting through a shoddy Philly secondary:
HAT TRICK FOR DEEBO
📺: #SFvsPHI on FOX
📱: Stream on #NFLPlus https://t.co/xvCjbLUIcN pic.twitter.com/hCev8lP2yB— NFL (@NFL) December 4, 2023
By landing a knockout punch over the team that kept it from Super Bowl glory, the 49ers have morphed back into pro football’s preeminent villain. They made it clear that fateful January game last season really could’ve been different if Purdy had been available throughout. At the very least, they gave the Eagles a well-earned slice of humble pie.
I can only imagine how the 49ers will lord this one over the Eagles for two months — a.k.a. when these two teams inevitably meet again in the NFC title game. We deserve a Round 3 sequel to this NFL blood feud. And I think we’re gonna get it.
All bets are off in the sport’s best, tensest rivalry.
Elsewhere in Week 13, C.J. Stroud baited the Denver defense into a silly penalty, a certain Washington D.C. quarterback showed his passing yards are a little empty, and a first-round receiver dropped another brutal pass downfield. Let’s dive in.
Best motivational tactics: Nick Sirianni getting the Eagles to hate the 49ers
The rivalry between the Philadelphia Eagles and San Francisco 49ers is easily the NFL’s best. But regular season games inherently have fewer stakes, especially when you’re the team that won last year’s NFC title game. From that respect, Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni getting his team’s blood boiling by showing off the 49ers’ trash talk was a brilliant strategy:
Nick Sirianni wants his @Eagles to "take it personally" vs. the 49ers today 😤 @JayGlazer pic.twitter.com/D0UVD78bgW
— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) December 3, 2023
Best bait: C.J. Stroud, by goading the Broncos into a backbreaking fourth-down penalty
At almost every turn this season, C.J. Stroud has shown us he is not a common rookie quarterback. As perhaps the finest first-year signal caller ever, Stroud has shown uncommon poise and control of games. Goading Denver’s Alex Singleton into a needless 15-yard penalty on a fourth down was a perfect demonstration of Stroud’s savviness.
This guy is unreal:
You better believe the Texans have C.J. Stroud's back 😤 pic.twitter.com/69rt5ybRhm
— NFL on CBS 🏈 (@NFLonCBS) December 3, 2023
Worst empty-calories QB: Sam Howell, after this horrendous pick-six
Fun fact: Sam Howell led the NFL in passing entering Week 13. Another fun fact: he has a historic sack rate and has probably been padding his passing yard numbers in garbage time of games where the Washington Commanders get blown out. Well, at least Howell didn’t throw for 300 yards against the Miami Dolphins with this terrible pick-six in mind.
For once, the numbers matched up with the eye test. Howell has a long way to go:
Andrew Van Ginkel Pick-6!
📺: #MIAvsWAS on FOX
📱: Stream on #NFLPlus https://t.co/xvCjbLUIcN pic.twitter.com/fWh8XUbMEX— NFL (@NFL) December 3, 2023
Worst backfired criticism: Will Levis, after DeAndre Hopkins publicly ripped a pass
DeAndre Hopkins’ production has cratered in recent weeks for the Tennessee Titans. So when Will Levis seemed to miss the receiver downfield, the veteran playmaker called his quarterback out.
Levis (rightfully) didn’t appreciate this happening in the middle of the game:
Will Levis and DeAndre Hopkins having a discussion pic.twitter.com/vvMpuhllzX
— NFL on CBS 🏈 (@NFLonCBS) December 3, 2023
Worst failed redemption: Quentin Johnston, after dropping another key Chargers pass
The Los Angeles Chargers have played 12 games. Quentin Johnston has 26 catches for 242 yards and precisely one touchdown. It’s too early to call him a bust outright, but Johnston’s meager production probably hurts a little extra when rookies like Zay Flowers and Jordan Addison in shine.
After a game-losing drop against the Green Bay Packers, Johnston failed to redeem himself on a critical third-and-long against the New England Patriots. Just brutal:
Quentin Johnston drops a perfect throw from Justin Herbert. Brutal pic.twitter.com/8BCYwwSa3e
— Ben Brown 🌻 (@BenBrownPL) December 3, 2023
Best creative TD celebration: Tyreek Hill and the Dolphins strapping into a roller coaster
The Miami Dolphins had little issue dispatching the Washington Commanders on Sunday. So much so that Tyreek Hill and his offensive teammates decided to make a trip to the “amusement park,” as they got strapped in for an amazing roller coaster touchdown celebration.
Using the lap bar is a delightful touch:
🎢 @cheetah pic.twitter.com/fEt8iu0ZzV
— NFL (@NFL) December 3, 2023
Best (actual) redemption: Trey McBride, by showing the ball truly doesn't lie
Arizona Cardinals tight end Trey McBride had himself a remarkable breakout performance against the Pittsburgh Steelers. And in the red zone at the end of the first half, McBride appeared to catch a ridiculous touchdown. Unfortunately, the infamous Calvin Johnson rule reared its ugly head, taking McBride’s score off the board.
He wasted no time trying again and would not be denied by the Steelers’ formidable defense:
CBS rules analyst Gene Steratore thought Cardinals TE Trey McBride had a touchdown vs the Steelers, on what was initially ruled a touchdown.
But after review, it was ruled incomplete.
McBride then scored a touchdown that actually counted on the next play. 🏈🦓👮♂️📺🎙️ pic.twitter.com/ll5AOe1hLl
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) December 3, 2023
Best (weirdest?) sequence: The Titans and Colts, who eventually gave us a "pick-two"
I’m still trying to figure out what the Indianapolis Colts and Tennessee Titans wanted to accomplish here on Sunday. After Indy scored on a fumble-six, they gave some of it right back with a rare “pick-two” on the extra point attempt.
How could this possibly happen on back-to-back plays?
An insane sequence of football features the Colts blocking a punt for a touchdown, followed by the Titans returning an interception the length of the field for 2 points. 🏈😵💫 pic.twitter.com/bVfPmSDy2U
— The Comeback (@thecomeback) December 3, 2023
Best heart-on-sleeve passion: Nick Sirianni, while getting into it with 49ers coaches
Nick Sirianni knows football. He’s also quite the passionate person who is clearly unafraid of getting into wars of words with opposing teams. Sunday was no different, with Sirianni arguing with 49ers coaches before the game even started.
This is performance art:
Nick Sirianni is fired up before the Eagles matchup with the 49ers 👀 pic.twitter.com/bBbRnPLInk
— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) December 3, 2023
Worst week for a QB: Russell Wilson, while killing the Broncos' win streak
The Broncos entered their game the Houston Texans riding high on a five-game winning streak. They left with a 22-17 loss punctuated by a horrific game-losing pick from Russell Wilson. He wasn’t much better earlier, either.
Here’s more from our Christian D’Andrea while reviewing the worst quarterback play of Week 13:
“Wilson put the Broncos in position to win this game after an early deficit. He also took them out of it.
The veteran quarterback put together the best stretch of his Denver career while leading his team into the playoff hunt, but his struggles Sunday could be the reason why the Broncos miss the postseason. Wilson threw three interceptions, each of which came in the final 16 minutes of a tight ballgame — the last of which snuffed out any hope of a comeback win.”
Worst obvious news: Aaron Rodgers, who will probably not return this season
Week 13 provided us with a positively shocking reveal: Aaron Rodgers will not, in fact, come back to play from a torn Achilles within a matter of months. If only anyone (everyone) had seen this coming from a quarterback seemingly addicted to keeping his name in the news:
Jets QB Aaron Rodgers (Achilles) unlikely to play this year despite positive week, via @RapSheet https://t.co/JFPhQiT4Vw pic.twitter.com/tfccZayO4B
— Around The NFL (@AroundTheNFL) December 3, 2023
Best Taylor Swift-inspired message: The Green Bay Police Department
One thing seems certain about the Taylor Swift-Travis Kelce romance. If she’s willing to travel to Green Bay, Wisconsin in early December for a football game, that love is very real. At the same time, I did not have the Green Bay police paying homage to Swift’s presence at Lambeau Field on my bingo card.
This was so hilarious:
Best helmet-adjacent episode: Another Myles Garrett situation with the Rams
There’s just something about Myles Garrett and helmets. As the Cleveland Browns squared off with the Los Angeles Rams on Sunday, Garrett temporarily lost his helmet. He could’ve retrieved it right away but there was one problem: it was stuck on Rams OT Alaric Jackson’s facemask.
I swear, this would only happen to Myles Garrett, man:
Little help here? 😂🤣 pic.twitter.com/rxZoRY2FOD
— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) December 3, 2023
Worst self-roast: Terry McLaurin equating his Sunday game to "cardio"
Terry McLaurin is a No. 1 receiver. For him to produce nothing in a game is absurd and unheard of. But that’s what happened to the Washington Commanders playmaker on Sunday when he recorded zero catches against the Miami Dolphins. When asked to sum up his frustrations, McLaurin said he essentially took care of his cardiovascular health and nothing else:
Terry McLaurin didn't have a single catch today vs. the Dolphins.
He was asked about that after the game.
Terry said, "I ran a lot of cardio…I'm going to continue to run my routes hard. At the end of the day, I'm not going to quit, but yeah it's frustrating." pic.twitter.com/IEW07NkyHw
— Scott Abraham (@Scott7news) December 3, 2023