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We Got This Covered
We Got This Covered
National
David James

New York Mayor Eric Adams unveils drone that will comfort you as you drown with recordings of his ‘calming voice’

It’s a beautiful summer Saturday in New York, so what better time for a trip to Rockaway Beach? You smile as you slide into the cool water and swim out a little further, admiring the beach from the sea. Then.. disaster! An unexpectedly strong wave crashes over you, plunging you deep under the water! You frantically try to surface, spitting out seawater, your eyes widening as you realize you’ve been dragged much further from the shore than you thought.

As you kick your rapidly weakening legs, you hear a buzzing sound. It’s a drone! You feebly try to stay afloat, each minute closer to a watery grave, when you hear a weirdly familiar voice. “Citizen, this is your mayor. Please stay calm. Try not to waste excess energy.” Wait… is that drone… Mayor Eric Adams?!

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