A new mum whose partner was killed in a suspected hit-and-run crash when she was six months pregnant with their first child faces finding as much as £9,000 to register him as their daughter's dad.
Kitchen designer Sophie Jay, 20, has spoken of her sorrow and loss over the death of her boyfriend, Jack Brandon, 22. Jack, a plasterer, had been to a friend’s wedding and called Sophie on his way home to tell her he loved her and how excited he was for their future together with their baby. Tragically, he never made it home.
And more heartache was to come - after their daughter Lilah was born last month, Sophie discovered that because they weren’t married, she would have to go to court and pay an astronomical bill to declare Jack her little girl’s dad. She said: It's a basic right for him to be on the birth certificate. Lilah's lost her dad and now he might not even be on her birth certificate. He lost his life and he doesn't even get that."
The death of Jacko, as Sophie called him, had financial implications for his family, reports The Mirror. His £35,000 wage plus Sophie’s £30k income was set to provide a comfortable life in their rented flat with their girl. Instead, the £760 rent alone exceeds Sophie’s £600 monthly maternity pay – making meeting the £9,000 legal bill to have Jack added to Lilah’s birth certificate even more of a struggle.
Sophie said: "It's heartbreaking. I have lost my partner, I’m on maternity leave with no other income and I don’t want finances to be the reason why she can’t have her dad on her birth certificate. He was so proud to be her dad already. There's no way I cannot do this. It means the world to me."
British law requires a declaration of parentage to be made in court for a deceased parent’s name to be registered if they died before the baby’s birth. This involves additional expenses including DNA tests to prove paternity and solicitor’s fees, estimated by a family law expert to total up to £9,000.
Gemma Davison, senior associate at Stowe Family Law, said: “In this case, as the couple were not married, the mother will need to apply to the family court for a declaration of parentage to have the father’s name on the birth certificate. This can be a complex area of family law and incurs costs. The court fee for the application alone is £365.” DNA tests cost around £380 and legal fees range from £5,000 to £8,000.
For Sophie, of Burgess Hill, West Sussex, it is the latest in a series of earth-shattering blows. She says: “Jacko’s last words to me were ‘I love you.’ Then my life was ruined. I’ve lost my best friend and my daughter has lost her dad. Jacko will never get to walk her down the aisle or make those precious memories with her.”
Jack was so delighted his child was on the way that after their 20-week scan he hand-wrote a heartfelt letter to his unborn baby girl for her to read on her 18th birthday. Now his letter is one-month-old Lilah’s only chance to hear from the daddy she will never meet.
Jacko wrote: “Today, Mummy and I found out that our lives would change forever. As you are reading this, you’ll be all grown up and making me very proud I’m sure. No matter what you do with your life, your career, love life, I want you to be happy and remember I’ll always be proud of you.
“I hope that the memories you and I make have made you smile as much as they will for me.” Sophie says of the letter: “It’s so upsetting that he won’t get to give it to her now himself.”
Relying on friends and family for support as she waits for her Universal Credit to kick in, Sophie is now preparing for her daughter’s first Christmas – with no daddy. She says: “I know Jacko would have been prancing around to try and make Lilah laugh.” That was typical of the sunny man she met at the end of 2020 and clicked with immediately.
She says: “The first time I met Jacko was chilling with friends in a car park and he jumped through an open window. He was always doing silly things to make people laugh.”
Discovering she was pregnant this January was the “perfect surprise”. She adds: “We were over the moon. We had our house, we had good jobs and he was my best friend. When we found out she was going to be a girl, he asked if we could call her Lilah, as he loved the name.”
Tragedy struck on July 3, when Jacko was returning from a friend’s wedding. Sophie says: “We had been shopping after work earlier that day in Mammas and Papas for the baby and then he went to the wedding in the evening.
“He called me around 1am while he was walking home and said he had never seen happiness like it and couldn’t wait for our wedding one day. We used to do the lift from Dirty Dancing and he asked if we could do it as our first dance at our wedding.” That was their last conversation.
Jacko was struck and killed on the B2112 New Road, between Ditchling and Clayton. Police arrested a 53-year-old man from Hove, East Sussex, on suspicion of causing death by dangerous driving. He has been released under investigation while enquiries continue. Jack’s grandad called Sophie with the awful news.
She says: “I went to my parents and said, ‘Jacko is dead’ and collapsed on their doorstep.” A month later, on August 5, Sophie was standing at Jack’s coffin, topped with his beloved Timberlands. She says: “I promised him that I would look after Lilah.” Navigating the last three months of her pregnancy without him was hell for her.
She says: “Because I was pregnant I had to try not to stress, which was really hard. I was constantly scared that I would lose Lilah as well.”
Lilah was born on October 21 healthy and happy, weighing 6lb 12oz. Sophie says: “I had my best friend and my mum with me so I wasn’t alone but I missed Jacko so much. I wore his T-shirt when I gave birth so I would feel close to him.
“When I saw Lilah for the first time, I just burst into tears because she was the spitting image of Jacko. It was like seeing him again."
A Home Office spokesman said birth records had to be accurate. They added: “In the sad circumstances where the parents are not married and the father has died before the birth has been registered, we rely on a court to make a declaration of parentage after considering the relevant evidence." To contribute to Sophie's fundraising page, click here.
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