WHAT IS… DOLLY PARTON’S SECOND BIGGEST PET PEEVE?
To celebrate the release of her book — and the above picture — we asked the Queen of everything ever what the next most annoying thing about people is
‘I can’t stand for somebody to infringe on other people’s time. I’m very timely. I’m gonna be on time unless there’s been a wreck, then I’m gonna call ahead and say, “I’m gonna be 15 minutes late.” I hate for people to just show up when they want to — and I know so many of them, I’ve had to work with them and I thought, “Well who do you think you are?” Plus, I don’t like people being unkind, I don’t like bullying, I don’t like people making other people feel less than what they should be, so… yeah, there’s a lotta things that piss me off.’
‘Behind the Seams: My Life in Rhinestones' by Dolly Parton is out now. £39.99, available here.
FOUR WAYS TO SPEND 206 MINUTES THIS WEEK
Scorsese’s latest is 180 seconds shy of The Irishman ’s three hours and 29 minutes, but is far better: telling the 1920s story of the murders of Native Americans in Oklahoma after their land is discovered to be oil-rich.
Assuming you are not too fussed about the 140-hour version of ‘Endless’, that is.
Starring De Niro, 1982’s The King of Comedy is an outrageously prescient meditation on fame and obsessive fandom. 1985’s After Hours, meanwhile, is a madcap adventure that takes place over the course of a single late night in New York.
Kenyan Kelvin Kiptum last week broke the world record when he finished in two hours and 35 seconds. So he could do a marathon and watch pretty much all of After Hours’ 97 minutes while recovering.
A NEW ALBUM TO CRY TO ON THE WAY HOME
Mercury prize-winner Sampha has just dropped his second studio album, Lahai, so tap your Oyster card (retro), pop your headphones on and embrace the tears like you’re in your very own music video. We know we will.
Sampha, Lahai, from £7.99 (amazon.co.uk)
SIR DAVID ATTENBOROUGH IN NUMBERS
Before Life on Our Planet lands on Netflix on 25 October, here are a few fun facts in honour of our national treasure
97 Years the grand monsieur has been alive, and still working. Let’s hope he’s not trying to set an example.
3 Pence that 11-year-old Attenborough was paid for each newt he captured and flogged to the University of Leicester.
40 Plants and animals that have been named after him, including a long-necked dinosaur called the Attenborosaurus. Rude.
256,000 Miles he travelled around the world for his The Birds of Life documentary — presumably as a back-seat driver, since he doesn’t have a licence.
6 Comedians made famous by his commissioning of Monty Python’s Flying Circus.
1967 Year he made Europe’s first colour TV broadcast as BBC2 controller, enabling us to get reliable fashion tips from Top of the Pops.
32 Honorary degrees he’s been presented with by UK universities. (Read: 32 attempts to emotionally blackmail him into visiting each institution.)
WHO SAID WHAT?
Not only are we knee deep in ITV’s new Big Brother, but this week an immersive 1984 experience opens at Hackney Town Hall. Coincidence? We think not. But can you guess who said the below… Orwell or a previous BB housemate? Answers, below.
- ‘David is dead.’
- ‘If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face — forever.’
- ‘If you kept the small rules, you could break the big ones.’
- ‘When you’re out of here, you’re going to get a job at Disneyland… as one of the rides.’
- ‘Would you like me to be the cat?’
- ‘Who is she?’
- ‘Sanity is not statistical.’
- ‘So this Shakespeare geezer directed a play called Romeo and Juliet? Romeo? Isn’t he the guy out of So Solid Crew?’
1894 Experience, 19 Oct - 26 Nov 2023. Tickets from £27.50 (immersive1984.com)
HAVE A VERY CHER-Y CHRISTMAS
She’s getting in early, that’s for sure: releasing an album called Christmas this week. Why not buy and pair with another Cher-themed stocking filler?
Cher Dark Lady poster, from £6 (etsy.com)
Cher dustpan and brush set, £12.50 (canyoucandleit.com)
Cher Saint Cher prayer candle, £19 (aintsaint.co)
