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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

My wife and daughter boss me around. How do I deal with this?

Painting: The Baker Arent Oostwaard and his wife, Catharina Keizerswaard by Jan Steen, 1658.
‘A person who insists on correcting every little thing is often acting from a deep reserve of insecurity or anxiety.’ Painting: The Baker Arent Oostwaard and his wife, Catharina Keizerswaard by Jan Steen, 1658. Photograph: Alamy

I am a 61-year-old man who lives with my partner and three kids. One, the daughter of my wife’s first marriage, is 24. We all get on, apart from one thing that’s driving me mad. My wife can be relatively bossy at times and over this last year my daughter, the 24-year-old, has joined in. She will regularly tell me that I’m not doing things right, such as putting things in the dishwasher in the right way and place. The other day she asked me what was I doing using a head shaver in the front room etc. I can put up with my wife’s bossy ways, but now I have two to contend with.

In frustration, I asked the 24-year-old to chill a bit, and not comment every day on the things I do or tell me I’m doing something I should not be. She responded that she’s not, then ran upstairs crying. How on earth do I deal with this please?

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