When Emma Laney's son Charlie stopped replying to text messages while away at university, she put it down to stress about a project deadline. After all, he was always hard at work doing something - he just needed a little space.
But on February 3 this year, she was hit with the sudden feeling that something was horribly wrong.
"I couldn't shake it," she said. "I'd left him a message a couple of days earlier telling him I was going to contact the university if he didn't reply and it got to Friday afternoon when I just had the overwhelming sense that something really bad had happened. I called Charlie's dad and asked him to phone the university".
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That phone call confirmed Emma's worst fears. Charlie, a 25-year-old computer science student, had taken his own life in his accomodation at Aberystwyth University.
Days earlier, the second year student had admitted himself to A&E as a result of his mental health before attending a counselling session with the university's wellbeing service, where he revealed he was feeling suicidal. However, none of this was communicated to Charlie's family until after his body was discovered - and even now they are having to fight for answers about the circumstances surrounding his death.
While the university maintains that it stayed in contact with Charlie throughout the year, Emma, from Hampshire, believes Aberystwyth's wellbeing services failed in their duty of care to Charlie after he told them he was feeling suicidal, with his case not dealt with the appropriate support nor urgency. She is now campaigning for improvements to be made to services like these across the country, in honour of her "intelligent, kind and gentle" son, the loss of whom she is still coming to terms with.
"Charlie was incredible," she said. "An amazing big brother to his siblings Max and Angel, great fun to be around and so intelligent - almost too clever for his own good sometimes! He was so kind and gentle and had such a witty, dry sense of humour. He was the artistic type but also very academic with an eagerness to learn, always with his nose in a book. In fact, he could read one for hours and absorb its contents right away.
"But he was ambitious too and after leaving school, he lived in China for a couple of years, teaching English. He travelled all around Asia which he loved and the children loved him too. I've received messages since Charlie's death on behalf of some of his pupils out there and they were all devastated. They had wanted him to come back and see them".
After Charlie's stint in China was abruptedly brought to an end by the outbreak of coronavirus, he decided to apply to university to study computer science, another subject he had a keen interest in. After getting into Aberystwyth, he made the move to west Wales and settled in quickly, to Emma's delight.
"He had a great first year," she said. "He was loving it and would come home and tell me all about these projects he was working on, showing me the coding systems and all that. I had to tell him: Charlie, I have no idea what you're talking about!
"But he was a great influence on others too. He took this group of 10 or so individuals under his wing and I luckily got to meet them when I went to the university after he died. They told me how a lot of them had anxiety issues and how, each week, he would take the time to individually help them, including this one girl who was really struggling after leaving home and never left her room.
"He made sure he got them all out to socialise," she added. "Even if it was just to the pub to have a drink or to teach them darts. He was just that kind of person, he would do anything for people, and knowing that others saw that makes me so proud."
But after Charlie started his second year, Emma soon began to notice a change in her son's behaviour. Over Christmas last year, he became a lot more withdrawn and kept telling his family he was busy.
"He had this project that he was working on and it was always on his mind. He was so focused on getting that done and would always hurry back to his room to keep working on it.
"He went back to Aberystwyth shortly after New Year and I asked him to let me know that he got there safely. In the end, he didn't, but I knew he was exhausted, it's a long train journey and he would want to be cracking on with this project again. So I gave him a bit of space but he would keep me hanging on the few messages that I sent and that lasted for two weeks.
"After all that time, he did finally get back to me and explained he was just feeling a little bit low. I told him to call me and we could talk it through and I ended up leaving him a message on a Wednesday evening. Two days later his body was discovered."
Charlie's death came as a huge shock to his family and his friends at university and beyond. But for Emma, the ordeal was only just starting as she sought to find out what exactly was known about her son's mental state before he died and - crucially - what more could have been done to prevent it.
After doing some digging of her own and discovering that Charlie had admitted himself to A&E just days before taking his own life, before disclosing to a university counsellor that he was suicidal, she sat down for a meeting with the university, hoping for an upfront, honest conversation about the circumstances surrounding his death. Instead, however, left feeling "really insulted", having allegedly been met with a "condescending tone and a questionable timeline of events"
"Nothing seemed to add up and they got on the defensive whenever I questioned whether they knew about his hospital visit and things like that," she claimed. "It didn't give me confidence at all. I left there feeling really insulted actually.
"If they just held their hands up, acknowledged that there may have been a few mistakes made and pledged to get to the bottom of it, then I would have understood. But instead it felt like there were missed opportunities they didn't want to talk about".
"It breaks my heart knowing Charlie took himself to hospital that night," she added. "He was a private and proud person and I know that would have taken a lot for him to have done that. He was crying out for help, clearly. I just wish we could have known at the time - it could have all been so different".
With an inquest into Charlie's death due to be held later this year, Emma, together with her son's friends and girlfriend Romana, are now calling on Aberystwyth and other universities across the UK to improve the way their wellbeing services handle cases like his. The Charlie Asked For Help campaign, started in his memory, aims to make sure students get the help they need while struggling with their mental health.
"We have to try and turn this tragedy into a positive," she said. "On behalf of all the students who are still coming forward with terrible stories about their wellbeing and how they have been treated by universities. It's not just Aberystwyth by any means, the same story is happening across the UK and we need to give these students voices.
"Whether it will lead to changes, I'm not sure but I really hope so. All businesses should have a legal duty of care for those within it and, at a university, this should be the case even more so. It can be such a difficult time for young people, especially in the current climate.
"Charlie asked for help and he didn't get it. Sadly, it's too late for him but we are going to keep making noise and push for changes to stop the same thing happening to other students. If we can do that, then my son's death has not been for nothing."
An Aberystwyth University spokesperson said: “Those affected by this tragedy are in our thoughts and have our deepest sympathies at what is a very difficult time. Our student support team have been in close contact with, and supporting, the friends and family of Charlie.
While we cannot go into individual circumstances, our Student Wellbeing team were in contact with Charlie throughout the 22/23 academic year, with the aim of providing direct support as well as linking to statutory NHS health and mental health services where appropriate. We remain in discussion with Charlie’s friends and family to ensure that all relevant circumstances receive the fullest possible consideration.
“Our multi-disciplinary professional team supports nearly a thousand students a year, with many provided with one-to-one wellbeing sessions with our qualified practitioners according to their individual needs. Listening and acting on feedback from our students on this service is very important to us, and we have recently been developing our provision in light of wider sector developments in this area. As a university we offer extensive welfare services that include offering help and support to those in need, and facilitating access to specialist statutory services where appropriate.
The spokesperson added: "We continuously review our processes and update our practices, including drawing on external advice and evolving best practice, to ensure that our students have access to the best support possible. This can be through in-house provision, via external specialist organisations or statutory services. Our support staff also meet with students to discuss their views and suggestions as we continue to respond to developments in this important area of work. This is part of our ongoing commitment to ensuring our services are in line with the best practice in the sector.”
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