In news that will delight my enemies, I believe there’s a chance I’ll die young and by accidental means. To clarify, I’m currently in excellent health (sorry to my enemies), but I’m sensing a spectacular midlife crisis on the horizon that could spell the end.
Maybe it’ll be an overdose in a seedy nightclub. Maybe I’ll drink myself into oblivion. Maybe I’ll get kicked in the head during an orgy. Whatever it is, it’ll be the result of a botched attempt at compensating for a lifetime of being the world’s most risk averse, law-abiding scaredy cat who is terrified of physical danger.
