My long-distance partner of nearly 10 years is moving in with me in the next few months. For most of this time it is what I thought I wanted, but the closer it gets, the more trepidation I have. I used to put up with behaviours from people that I didn’t really like, but kept relationships going for fear of what would happen if I ended them. I’m not that person any more.
I left my husband of 25 years a decade ago and have dropped many friends who I feel no longer give me what I need, who I was “people pleasing” – doing what they wanted to my detriment. I love my partner very much. He is a good, kind, caring man who adores me. But I’m so scared that suddenly I’ll “go off” him like I have other people and that I’ll be stuck living with someone I don’t want to be around. I know I sound dismissive of people. But I have cultivated my own space, my own understanding of my needs and wants. I eventually went off my husband. I don’t want to go off my partner too. How can I be at peace and not be scared of him moving in? It would be positive in so many ways.
