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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

My housemates leave dirty dishes lying around for days. How can I let go of my irritation?

‘Before you know it little problems in your home can add up to a distress much bigger than the sum of its parts.’ Painting: In the Kitchen by Mihály Munkácsy.
‘Everything your housemates do may eventually start to seem like more evidence confirming their disregard for you.’ Painting: In the Kitchen by Mihály Munkácsy. Photograph: Artepics/Alamy

My relationship with my two housemates is becoming fractious. We’ve lived together for two years and I consider them both friends. I pay more rent due to having a higher income (we wouldn’t afford this flat otherwise).

The issue is they don’t clean up after themselves. They will cook dinner and leave the dishes for days, and it drives me mad. I’ve raised this issue multiple times over the years and it always goes the same way: everyone agrees to make more of an effort, the kitchen is clean for a week, and then the dishes pile up again. I feel as though I’ve tried everything, from initiating a friendly discussion about household labour division to simply sending messages along the lines of: “Please can you wash your dishes today.”

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