"If there is such thing as a perfect marriage we must have come very damn close to it" - this is just one of the moving lines read out by Frank Shaw at his wife's funeral earlier this year. Now, aged 83, the Nottinghamshire widower faces his first Christmas without her for 42 years.
Joan died in February this year, aged 87, after a long battle with breast cancer. "She was a terrific woman, I run out of superlatives. Kind, generous, thoughtful, everything. She was my life," Frank, of Gedling, said.
The pair met at work 50 years ago, before getting together years later. Frank, a former Tetra Pak worker who was a policeman for a period, said he wished his first Christmas without her would "come and go".
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"I'm not looking forward to it. I'm going out for Christmas Day with all my sons but I'm not looking forward to the day, I wish it would come and go," he said. "It's my first Christmas without her for 42 years.
"She was a wonderful woman, she really was. We never had a row, we never had an argument. We had a difference of opinion, she was a very clever woman. We had differences of opinion as you do of course, but we just agreed to differ.
"Life is too short, we valued every minute of our time together." Frank spoke to Nottinghamshire Live during an interview at Nottinghamshire Hospice, a place that has become almost like his second home since Joan's passing.
They visited the Grace Unit whilst she was well enough. "I thought goodness me a hospice? That's where people come on their last legs," Frank recalled. "So we came and we were absolutely amazed by how happy, cheery and wonderful everyone was and we enjoyed coming."
As Joan's condition began to worsen and she was taken to hospital, the hospice put together a package of care so she was able to spend her final days at home. "Without them I couldn't have coped, they were magnificent," said Frank.
"Two carers, four times a day, and this was all free." Frank himself has an incurable illness - axonal peripheral neuropathy, which causes numbness and tingling in the feet and hands and muscle weakness.
He visits the hospice twice a week and is fronting the Light Up a Life appeal, a fundraiser that invites people to remember those they have lost by dedicating a light on the hospice tree.
Paul Hawkins, community fundraiser at Nottinghamshire Hospice said: “Frank’s story is a perfect illustration of how our services work together to help patients and their families. We’re proud to have played a part in their story and pleased that we’re able to continue supporting Frank in his grief.
“We’re so grateful to Frank for helping us spread the word about our Light up a Life appeal which will raise vital funds to help our patients and their families during the festive season and beyond.
"There are so many pressures on our patients and their families and carers, particularly at the moment with cost of living increases, so it’s all the more important that our care can continue free of charge.” Frank added: "The hospice keeps me going, it gives me a purpose, it's the highlight of my week."
