My father finally acknowledged my stepmother’s cruelty. How do I ask him to reconsider their marriage?

‘You can soften the phrasing, but it’s the content of that question that makes us flinch, not the way of asking it,’ writes Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Painting: The Tribute Money by Francesco Boneri (1612). Illustration: Rita Guglielmi/Alamy

I have a stepmother who my brother and I really despise. She has made our relationship with our dad really hard, and has tried to stop him seeing us at points. She has resented us since we were little. My dad has recently admitted that he thinks she is jealous of us and has a lot of regret for the way we were treated in the past.

The trouble lies in the fact that he has said if anything happens to him (ie if he dies first) we would need to make an effort with her will-wise, to ensure we were treated fairly, as he doesn’t quite trust she would do the right thing.