A mum-of-two has been left feeling frustrated at her childminder after she was accused of packing too many "processed foods" in her son's lunchbox.
The mum explained she's been sending her two sons - aged 3 years and 10 months - to the same childminder since her eldest was 18 months old, and although she's never had a problem with her before, they've now started to clash over the diet of her 10-month-old.
She said her youngest son "didn't take well" to baby-led weaning, so he's been eating very soft foods such as puree pouches and yoghurts, which the mum hopes will ease him into more solid foods.
However, the childminder who looks after the tot has insisted the mum start sending him over with some fruit, as she's concerned about the amount of processed food he's eating.
The mum agreed and began sending a banana in the boy's lunchbox, but every day it comes home untouched - meaning the childminder hasn't been helping him peel it to eat it.
In a post on Mumsnet, the woman wrote: "For context, we've had this childminder since my first son was 18 months old. He's now three and she also [looks after] my 10-month-old. She has been amazing and has also been a rock for me. However...
"My 10-month-old I have been sending with a puree pouch, some snacky foods from Ella's Kitchen and yoghurt for his lunch. He didn't take well to baby-led weaning at all despite having 6 teeth from 6 months old and so we decided to ease him into finger foods and others this way.
"The childminder mentioned she would like us to send a banana with him as she felt he was having a lot of processed foods. I was happy to do this but did explain he has home-cooked meals in the evening. No issue though, and I started to send him with one.
"Now the last few weeks he hasn't eaten it, it's not been opened. So it's just going back and forth for show. He won't eat other soft fruits like berries at all and hasn't been keen on bananas either. So last week we didn't send him with one. And she made a comment to 'remind us' to send it and he needs to not eat so much processed foods."
The mum admitted she feels "judged" by her childminder for her food choices, and said that while she understands the childminder's need to give advice, she thinks it should be up to her what she feeds her son.
She added: "I feel judged, despite explaining he has home-cooked at home. She's making it sound like we're sending him with a bottle of coke and Wotsits! I'm also frustrated at the fact he's my son and if that's what I want to feed him, I will do so. Though I understand she has to give advice, being so judgey has just really made me annoyed."
Commenters on the post were understanding of the mum's position, with many agreeing that it should be her choice, as well as pointing out that her son would need help opening the banana.
One person said: "Surely she should just respect that what you send is what you are happy for him to eat?"
While another added: "It does seem a bit odd for the childminder to insist on a banana being sent but then not to peel it and offer it to your son. Perhaps she would appreciate daily reminders whenever a banana is returned unopened."
And a third wrote: "You need to ask what the point of sending a banana if she's not giving him it. Then go from there."
But others pointed out that the childminder may be asking the mum to provide less processed foods because of a potential Ofsted inspection, as they will expect her to be giving the children in her care a healthy and balanced diet.
Someone suggested: "She might be covering her back for an Ofsted inspection asking her what she's doing to encourage healthy eating. Ofsted won't care that he has a home-cooked meal in the evening, they'll ask your childminder to prove what she's doing."
As another posted: "Ofsted are very strict with childminders regarding both the children's diet, dental hygiene and not doing things for them - much much more so than they are with a nursery setting. Childminders get downgraded on things like this alone, even if their education/activities etc are perfect."
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