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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

My brother and sister are angry at my parents. I feel caught in the middle. What can I do?

New Year's Games, from the printed book Flowers of the Four Seasons (Shiki no hana), 1801.
‘The truth of any family is so long and tangled that it’s very hard for any one person to see all of it at once – if ever,’ writes Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Painting: New Year's Games, from the printed book Flowers of the Four Seasons (Shiki no hana), 1801. Illustration: Heritage Image Partnership Ltd/Alamy

My brother and sister are really angry at my parents. They say that we had a terrible childhood because my dad was absent a lot and my mum used to play us off against each other to keep control. There was a lot of arguing.

But this is just half the story. I know my parents loved us all a lot and tried to give us a good childhood. We always had home-cooked food and stories. Nowadays my parents are trying to make amends, but my brother and sister just don’t see it. They’re so critical and to be honest I think they’re a bit ungrateful. I feel caught in the middle. What can I do?

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