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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

My boyfriend’s behaviour is making me second-guess everything. What should I do?

Painting: detail of Narcissus and Echo in The Empire of Flora by Nicolas Poussin.
‘There aren’t many worse feelings in the world than chasing engagement or approval from someone who no longer cherishes you,’ writes Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Painting: detail of Narcissus and Echo in The Empire of Flora by Nicolas Poussin. Photograph: Niday Picture Library/Alamy

My boyfriend and I have been together for five years now, and for the most part things have been really good. But lately I’ve been noticing some stuff that’s got me really confused and frustrated. First of all, he’s been really distant, like he’s always got something on his mind but won’t tell me. And when I try to talk to him about it, he brushes it off like it’s nothing. Plus, he’s been cancelling plans at the last minute, which is not like him. It’s like he’s avoiding spending time with me.

But here’s the real issue: I caught him red-handed flirting with some other girl on social media! I trust him, but this is making me second-guess everything. I don’t know whether to confront him about it or just keep quiet and hope it blows over. I just can’t decide between wanting to salvage what we have and not wanting to be played for a fool. And to top it all off, I’m scared that if I bring it up, it’ll just lead to a huge fight and make things worse. So please help, what should I do?

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