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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Tiff Bakker

My best friend of 50 years knew me better than anyone. But when she died, no one seemed to take my grief seriously

Tiff Bakker, who's written about the death of her best friend, in stripy blue and white shirt against dark red walls, outside in New York
Tiff Bakker: ‘We were like branches on an old tree that had grown in and around each other.’ Photograph: Evelyn Freja/The Guardian

I don’t remember a time in my life when Chrissy wasn’t in it. We were born 11 days apart and were both one when our families moved on to the same street in Geelong, a port city an hour south-west of Melbourne. We had a very Australian childhood; summers spent in our bathers, running through sprinklers; swimming in back yard pools; eating sausages in bread on New Year’s Eve, when we were allowed to stay up late while our parents drank cask riesling with the neighbours, and we’d lie on the cool evening grass listening to crickets.

During those blisteringly hot summer days of our childhood, we lived at the beach, where shark alarms were constant and the waves dangerous. Occasionally, Chrissy would paddle out on her inflatable red and blue raft to the big waves out the back where the serious surfers were. Sometimes, I’d panic when I’d lose sight of her, only to see her come rolling in on a massive wave, perched on top, laughing her head off. She was fearless.

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