A mum has sparked a debate over children attending weddings after she received an invitation to an overseas ceremony - but kids were banned.
The discussion was started on Mumsnet under a thread titled: "Friend's wedding overseas, no kids... what am I supposed to do?"
The woman wrote: "A good friend is having her wedding on the other side of the world.
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"We had been talking about how exciting it will be to reunite for the special occasion since she got engaged in the summer.
"I just received the invite. It says no kids...and I had a baby early last year. She will be too young to stay with anyone especially in a foreign country.
"What am I supposed to say? Sorry can't come because I have a baby? I mean she knows I do!!!"
Hundreds of parents commented on the issue, with many saying she should just decline the invitation, while others suggested asking grandparents for help or looking for childcare near the wedding venue.
One wrote: "Just don’t go - no one can expect others to spend so much on their wedding or to leave their children behind."
Another added: "Yeah, you just don't go. It sucks but if she expects people to respect her no kids decision she has to accept that some parents will be unable to attend."
Some urged the mum to talk to her friend and clarify whether there was an exception for babies or young children.
"Sometimes they don’t include babes in arms in that," said one. "I think it’s ok to clarify that with her. Don’t push for her to include your baby, but at the same time it’s fine to say 'thanks but I won’t now be able to attend' if she can’t be included."
Another commented: "If she's a close friend it's really poor form not to pre-warn or discuss with you about the no kids thing. Does she expect you to travel across the world without your baby, or just for the wedding itself?
"Maybe she's arranging childcare for the day, maybe no kids doesn't mean your baby. A lot of childless brides can be spectacularly naïve about parents leaving babies (I was), and she's not thought that this might prevent you from attending.
"I would have a proper chat with her and explain your situation."
And one message read: "Sometimes people without children (certainly not all!) don't realise you can't always just leave them with someone else. I had a friend invite me to her spa weekend hen 3 weeks after my DD (dear daughter) was born and when I politely declined, she asked why I couldn't just leave her with my husband."
One parent suggested the woman could find a local babysitter or childminder through the hotel, while another said she could go to the wedding while her partner or other relatives looked after the baby.
Another post said: "I had a no kids wedding. Young children generally get very bored at weddings, start to play up, need entertaining etc. Not every bride and groom wants that. Plus we had friends who were happy to have a fun, relaxing child free day."
What would you do in this situation? Let us know in our comments section below.
