A mum says she was shamed like influencer Molly-Mae for her baby bump - and even has people touching her stomach without asking. Kat Fellows, 36, faced "antiquated" comments from strangers during both her pregnancies and says she has been shamed for having a small bump.
She has one son, Felix, with consultant husband Max, 35, and is expecting another baby in May 2023. While pregnant with Felix, now 20 months old, she was shamed for her small baby bump by friends and strangers.
Now in her current pregnancy at 23 weeks, her size has also attracted comments from others. Kat said she was "thick-skinned", but still sensitive towards the comments because of her previous miscarriage and sympathises with influencer Molly-Mae, who recently shared her trolling experience for her large bump.
Kat, founder of nursing bra brand Lesh, said: "Poor Molly-Mae - it's like she can't do anything right for some people, she's always getting criticised online. It's as if once you get pregnant your body isn't yours anymore, but rather everyone is allowed to comment.
"It's crazy, because if you weren't pregnant then people wouldn't touch you - or at least it wouldn't be socially acceptable. It's as if there's free rein for anyone to touch you or comment."
Kat said her pregnancies had attracted comments from friends and strangers that her bump is small.
"I've always measured quite small on pregnancies. There's no particular reason as I'm not especially tall, it seems the babies just spread themselves out in my tummy," she said.
"If you're not particularly big then people like to comment on your bump and say it's so small like it's a good thing. To me it's a really antiquated way of thinking about a woman, that the smaller she is, the better.
"The reality is as a pregnant woman it's not necessarily good to be measuring excessively small. On top of that, you don't know what a woman has gone through to get pregnant.
"Personally it took me a year-and-a-half with my first pregnancy and I also lost a baby through miscarriage. Many people lose babies and it can be very triggering for them to have strangers comment on your size."
While pregnant with Felix, strangers would comment on her bump's size.
"My son was 6lbs, in the fourth centile, when he was born, so in terms of size I had a small bump and small baby," Kat said. "I had horrific morning sickness, so I was not eating very much, which then led into the insecurities around people commenting on the size of my bump.
"Commenting on a small bump is not necessarily a compliment; it can create anxiety and comparison, which a lot of mums go through - comparing themselves to each other. Pregnancy is such a different journey for every single woman."
During her current pregnancy, Kat has also experienced comments from people.
"I don't think I have a small bump, because I just feel huge," she said. "When other people comment on how you look, it makes you stop in your tracks and think is there a problem where there is none, which makes you insecure and you dwell on things.
"I try to just be conscious of things to remove the stress and anxiety around these comments, but it can be hard. I have had pre-natal depression, so when someone says something to me there are heightened emotions with pregnancy hormones, and lots of women may take things much more sensitively than they would otherwise."
As Felix was small, Kat's relatively small bump in her current pregnancy meant she needed further pre-natal check-ups.
"They were really professional, they never said I was measuring small - they just said you've got a neat bump. The midwife was always really complimentary," Kat said.
"They said we need to do extra scans and check-ins, which made me feel stressed it was a bad thing to have a small baby. That was why I felt more anxious about strangers' comments."
Kat, from Surrey, has also had people touching her bump.
"Usually it's an older woman who means no harm who touches your stomach," she said. "They get overexcited and they're taken aback if you say anything.
"My advice to people would be, just think twice about what you're commenting on. You don't know if pregnant women have lost a baby or maybe had gestational diabetes.
"It can just be a really sensitive topic - people still comment on women's weight after birth, which is a very old fashioned way of objectifying women and this goes along the same principles - you wouldn't comment on how big someone's weight is, so don't comment on the woman's stomach.
"It's an unhealthy obsession with skinny culture that a small bump is seen as a compliment. Just say you're looking well and leave it at that."
