A mum of two who has had a crippling fear of peas since being force-fed them at school has said her “terror” at the sight of them causes her to have panic attack-like symptoms and her phobia “stunted her childhood” as she did not want to visit friends’ houses in case they were served.
Maddy Alexander-Grout, 39, a consumer money specialist, who lives with her husband, James, 41, and their children Ben, seven, and Harriet, four, believes her fear stems from being forced to finish her peas at lunchtime at school – when she used to “stuff peas into (her) cheeks like a hamster” and spit them out in the toilet. Maddy was diagnosed with ADHD in 2022 and thinks her fear of peas is also partly due to her “struggle with sensory processing” as she hates their texture and taste, and claims her phobia is so “deep-rooted” that no therapist could cure it.
The phobia even has an impact on Maddy’s job – she is in the process of making a money-saving tips app, Mad About Money, and she cannot bear to include peas on any recipe list or film TikTok videos in restaurants where peas are being eaten. Maddy is often teased by her friends and family about her dislike of peas, with her dad once giving her a can of peas for her birthday as a joke – which made her cry for hours – but asserts that it is not funny and she is “genuinely scared of peas”.
“It’s a fight or flight kind of thing, so my heart starts racing, I get sweaty palms, I feel anxious, my breathing gets faster,” Maddy said. “It’s like, if you were watching a scary film, and you know that anticipation of the bad guy coming, I think that’s the way I would describe it – it’s almost like a terror that’s inside. It’s such a weird thing to be scared of, but I am genuinely scared of peas.”
Maddy, who likes all other green vegetables, thinks her fear comes from when she was at private school at age four and was forced by her teachers to eat her peas.
She explained: “The school was really strict, and they basically served peas with every single meal. It was the sort of school where you eat what you’re given, and they won’t let you out to play until you’ve eaten all of your lunch.
“They would force feed peas to me, so I used to stuff them into my cheeks like a hamster and squash them down, so nobody noticed, and I’d go straight to the toilet, and I would spit it all out into a tissue and then put it down the toilet. I did that for most probably about a year.”
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Outside of school, Maddy did not eat peas at home, but because of the pressure of finishing her plate, she was scared to eat out or eat at friends’ houses in case peas were on the menu.
She said: “It mentally scarred me really badly – from that moment on, I was scared to go over to friends’ houses in case their parents served peas. I was always told by my parents to finish my plate and eat what I’m given when I went to others’ houses to be polite. I think it sort of almost stunted my childhood a little, and it really did make quite a big impact on me.”
Around the age of eight Maddy developed emetophobia, a fear of vomit, too, after having a sickness bug that triggered memories of her spitting out peas as a young child.
She said: “I was so sick that all of my blood vessels and my eyelids burst. I can’t hear people vomiting or watch people on the TV vomiting – it triggers my gag reflex.
“When I was pregnant with my daughter, I remember going to a meeting at a hotel, and I was in the middle of a conversation with somebody, and I had to run away and be sick. I remember it so vividly. Afterwards, I was shaking, and I was really pale because it’s the fear that comes out in you.”
As Maddy got older she continued to despise peas, explaining: “As I grew up, the phobia didn’t go away, and I couldn’t even look at them. So if somebody was eating peas near me, I wouldn’t be able to look it would make me feel sick. If I had a pea on my plate, it was game over, I couldn’t eat any of the meal.”
Five years ago, Maddy had hypnotherapy to help overcome her fear, but she did not think it helped. She said: “I think it’s just so deep, so deep-rooted, I just don’t think that any therapist is going to get rid of it.”
In 2022 Maddy was diagnosed with ADHD and thinks her phobia is also partially because of her “struggle with sensory processing”.
She said: “Looking back, I think it’s the texture, the taste, basically everything that comes with peas I hated, as well as the trauma from school.”
Maddy’s phobia also impacts her work – she is a money educator on TikTok and is currently creating a money saving tips app, Mad About Money, which launches on May 1.
She said: “The hardest part is writing all of my content for the app. Many cheap meals involve peas, but I can’t bring myself to write an ingredient list that’s got peas because I won’t cook with them.
“There have been times where I’ve gone out to restaurants to do TikToks, and I see people eating peas, and that freaks me out, and I have to leave. People often comment on my videos that I should add peas to recipes, but I don’t want to endorse that because of how scared I am of them.”
Maddy’s husband and two children occasionally eat peas at home, but Maddy has to leave the room. She continues to despise the sight of peas – she was only comfortable taking a photo with petits pois because the bag was sealed – but even her loved ones cannot help but find it funny.
Maddy, who lives in Southampton, said: “I remember my dad thinking it was really funny to buy me a can of tinned peas. I cried for hours, I was probably about seven or eight.
“My husband has also put a pea in my bed once. People think it’s funny, but it’s not – it’s quite deep-rooted.”
