A mum who dedicated 30 years to providing round-the-clock care for her disabled son has gone on her first holiday with her partner in three decades, and says the couple are now “making up for lost time”. Karen Hewitt, 61, spent 30 years being a full-time carer for her son, Jack, 30, who has severe additional needs, and said it was “impossible” to go abroad on family holidays.
Karen said Jack – who has cerebral palsy, autism, epilepsy and severe learning difficulties – would struggle to cope on holidays and instead, Karen and her partner, Keith Higgins, 72, a retired builder, would take turns to go away individually over the years. Now, as Jack has settled into his new home in residential care, Karen and Keith have enjoyed their first holiday together in three decades – a trip to the Spanish city of Barcelona in October 2022 which they won in an online raffle.
After enjoying walking tours and rooftop bars in Barcelona, they have since been glamping in Somerset, enjoyed a castle break in Devon, and spent a week in Alderney in the Channel Islands. Karen said: “It was an incredibly difficult decision to move Jack into a residential place, it broke my heart, but I knew it was the right decision for him, as Keith and I are getting older and were worrying about that.”
“He comes round once a week, and we often go to see him throughout the week. But now that he’s settled in and is enjoying it, it’s given us the freedom to start enjoying our retirement and we’ve been making up for lost time by travelling.” Karen, from Cardiff, had initially planned to return to work part-time once Jack had started school, but says after his diagnoses were confirmed, it “became clear” she would need to care for him full-time.
“There’s quite a bit we couldn’t do because, with the autism, Jack doesn’t like loud noises or crowded places,” she said. “When he was little, we took him on holiday, but it would just be us doing the same routine in different places, so it wasn’t really a break.
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“It was a bit stressful so we stopped doing that and instead, Keith and I would take turns going away for a few days. Sometimes I’d have a break with the girls or on my own and then Keith would go fishing for a few days. We didn’t have a proper holiday away together in 30 years.”
It was not until Karen and Keith decided it was time to look at residential care options for Jack, after they started to worry about their age and ability to care for him, that going away together became a possibility. In 2021, the couple started researching homes in their area that could care for Jack.
“We started to worry about what might happen to him when we’re not around anymore,” she said. “Keith had found out he needed to go in for open heart surgery and it gave us the push we needed to find something for Jack.
“Keith said he wouldn’t have the surgery until Jack was sorted. Jack can’t really communicate very well and, thinking long term, I worried about where he would end up after we’re gone. We wanted to be able to pick somewhere for him ourselves.”
Karen found a residential care facility just 30 minutes from her house and said the move in October 2021 went much better than she had thought it would. “I wasn’t sure how smooth the transition would be, but he settled in quite quickly,” she said.
“I cried for weeks, it’s still very strange not having him at home full-time, the house is very quiet without him. It wasn’t easy, but I know it’s what is best for him.”
Jack has a home visit with his parents every Friday and the couple visit their son throughout the week. Since the move, Karen and Keith have turned their sights on travelling – something they have not been able to do together since having Jack and have been working on ticking places off their list.
They spent their first holiday together in Barcelona in October 2022, after winning the holiday on Raffolux, a digital raffle operator. “It was a wonderful holiday and it’s been so freeing being able to relax and go away together finally, something we never would have been able to do before,” she said.
She added: “It’s strange to go without Jack but I know he wouldn’t cope going abroad and wouldn’t like being in unfamiliar environments so he’s not missing out.” Since October, Karen and Keith have been making up for lost time and the couple have been glamping in Somerset, been on a castle break in Devon, and spent a week in Alderney in the Channel Islands.
“We’ve had a few overnight hotel stays too, once the weather is nicer, we’ll start looking at more places to go to,” she said. “We’ve got a lot of peace of mind for Jack now, we know he’s happy and being looked after, so we’re able to enjoy travelling without worrying about him.”
The 61-year-old has more raffle wins that she has yet to redeem and plans to use some of them this year to continue her travels. “We have some more overnight stays that I’ve won, and I can pick from a few locations in the UK,” she said.
“We’re off to the Cotswolds next in the next couple of months. It’s great because 10% of all net proceeds generated at Raffolux go towards a wide variety of charities, and you can choose which charity you want to support.
“I’ve chosen the National Autistic Society because it’s an organisation close to my heart. There’s a lot that Keith and I missed out on when we were younger so we’re trying to travel and get away as much as we can now.”
