"But what about my dog and my hair?" These were the first words out of the mouth of 57-year-old Tara Ellis when she was given the devastating news that she had stage four, terminal cancer. Not quite able to process the news, the bubbly mum said her mind instantly went to her little dog Russell and her well groomed looks.
Tara, from Westhoughton, was given the devastating diagnosis just two weeks after being admitted to Royal Bolton Hospital in an ambulance. She had been suffering severe back pain but had no idea when the consultants drew the curtains around her bed, last August, just what she was about to hear.
"They told me they were so sorry, but I had inoperable pancreatic cancer," she says, admitting "I didn't even know where that was. I asked them "What about my dog and my hair?" I have always kept myself looking nice.
She says she wraps her dog - an eight-year-old cross between a miniature schnauzer and a terrier - 'up in cotton wool' and instantly thought of him. Immediate phone calls to family and friends were met with shock and devastation. In one brutal moment, Tara was given a definitive end point to her life - and it was just a matter of months away.
READ MORE:
Tara reflects on how the news changed the dynamics of her relationships. "It's a lonely thing is cancer. The friends you think are going to be there for you - they quickly fizzle away and change," she says. And yet she says her illness has strengthened and healed rifts in the relationship with her daughter Abigail, 38, who she says looks after her.
"She is amazing," Tara says. "She says to me: "Calm down mum and breathe." Abigail herself says simply: "It's hard because it is your mum. My world just changed in seconds."
Determined and still full of life, Tara, who also has a son Lewis, 25, had a late son Daniel, who died aged 30, and has a granddaughter, Tiana, 18, is battling the disease with humour and positivity but says there have been days so dark she didn't know how to get through.
"It throws you in to a daze. You are in a dark room alone and you are looking for the light, " she says. "You don't know how to find that light because you don't know how to handle the cancer yourself. You are looking for little doors to open."
Brave Tara describes the twelve eight-hour chemotherapy sessions she endured to prolong her time left as 'brutal' She says: "I thought if I got through it I might still have my hair and not have cancer but it doesn't work like that. It came back." She says she and her loved ones were "dancing around" when she was told her cancer had shrunk, but their happiness was short-lived when it later grew into her lungs, liver and stomach.
Tara says she wants to raise more awareness of invisible illnesses, saying she has been judged for walking slowly across crossings and for using disabled parking bays. "In theory I could put my make up and my jeans on and nobody would know I was ill, " she explains. "I think people should be aware that if an illness is not visual, you should not judge." She also wants to raise awareness of the disease and urges people suffering back pain to get it checked out.
Tara has also raised £6,500 through a Just Giving page for Royal Bolton Hospital and says: "They are like family, I love them to bits. They are so supportive and are there for you 24/7. The support you get is unbelievable." On July 9 there will be a further fundraising charity car wash at the side of the BP petrol garage on Manchester Road in Westhoughton.
Now, Tara says she may have six months left or maybe a little more or less. She wants to spend her final days going on short visits with her partner and family, spending time in a static caravan and visiting new places.
Full of humour, she said: "Of course if you can arrange for me to meet Ronaldo I would be happy with that." But on a serious and sobering note Tara added: "It is important for me that I live my life - I have to hold on to the days I have left."
