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Edinburgh Live
Edinburgh Live
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Abbie Meehan

Mum fuming at parents' reaction to childcare request after she left the country

A mum has been left feeling betrayed by her parents after they refused to look after their grandson while she was on a business trip.

The woman posted her dilemma to popular online forum, Mumsnet, where she told readers that she had a job that entailed moving across the world at a moment's notice.

Due to this, she took her two-year-old son and husband over to Australia to live for a number of months temporarily, and then they would return to the UK. So, the mum has suggested that the grandparents could look after her son while she visited Europe in August for work.

The plan would be that the son would stay with his grandparents for a week while his mum worked, then she would come back and visit, before heading back to Australia.

However, her mum and dad weren't happy with that, arguing that they have never kept the toddler overnight by themselves.

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Writing on Mumsnet, the woman said: "Hi there, we are moving from UK to Australia in a few weeks, myself, husband and two-year-old son.

I have a job with international travel, meaning I am due in X European city in August (five months after we depart).

"I suggested to my parents I come back with my son and we stay with them the week before I'm due in Europe, they have him for the five days I'll be working in Europe and then I come back for another week or whatever best suits their schedule.

"They are completely up against it at me asking and in fact really angry - and say I'm being unreasonable asking them to have my son for the five days I'm away.

"I totally get it would be hard work for them but considering they see us every week at the moment and won't see us for at least 8 months if I don't bring him back with me in August."

The mum continued: "I thought this was a great opportunity to see each other and especially him spending time with grandparents. They have never had him overnight, we see them every week a few times for an hour or two each time.

"My mum is always stressed and must have undiagnosed anxiety despite having everything she could want for years. I feel like my dad would do it without hesitation if my mum said yes but agrees whatever she says, which I guess is good for their relationship.

"I completely understand I can't rely on my parents for childcare and never have, but just thought this was too good an opportunity to turn down - my flights are also pretty much paid for etc.

"Thanks for your thoughts."

Opinions flooded in, with people divided over what they think about the mum's dilemma. Some were in agreement with the woman, as one wrote: "Do they realise that if they don’t, it will be you coming alone and they won’t see their grandchild? If so and they still won’t have him then don’t bring him - it’s their choice.

"Very sad though that they would cut their nose off just to not look after him for the five days."

Another said: "In a few years when they’ve barely had anything but zoom calls they’ll probably regret it."

And a third wrote: "I totally get why you’re annoyed because ideally we’d all like parent who offer, and are able to manage, providing childcare for us."

However, many people thought the mum was being extremely unreasonable, and criticised her attitude towards her mother's mental health.

One Mumsnet user wrote: "They’ve never had him overnight, your Mum is always stressed / anxious, so you thought five nights on their own with him (when they’ve not seen him for five months?) was a reasonable suggestion?"

Another said: "Your son will have forgotten your parents and their home come August so you are considering dropping him off alone with people he won't remember. No wonder your dm is saying no to having a toddler that will likely be incredibly upset."

And a third wrote: "You are being very unreasonable. You're also being a t*** about your mum's anxiety. It doesn't matter what you have in life - mental illness isn't selective."

More comments read: "Your comment about your mother having undiagnosed anxiety despite having everything she could want is very naïve. That's not how it works."

And another user made a good point, saying: "Is your partner not coming with you to help out? Or not seeing his son for 3 weeks?"

What would you do in this situation? Let us know in the comments below.

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