A mum is "fuming" after her next-door-neighbour chopped the top of her tree down in order to "spy" on her.
The mum, who usually gets on well with her neighbours and believes they're "generally" a "really kind" couple, has been left frustrated by the "unbelievably nosy" husband, who continually makes comments about what she's been getting up to in her garden. The mum has told him to "stop nosing" into her garden, even in front of his wife, but the last straw came when she returned from a little getaway to find the top of her tree - which she was growing in an attempt to "mask his view" - had been chopped off, giving him a clearer view of her garden.
Originally taking to Mumsnet's popular Am I Being Unreasonable (AIBU) thread back in January to seek advice, the mum recently posted an update to detail how she'd since tackled the awkward situation. In her original post, dated January 7 2022, she posited: "Snooping neighbour has cut the top off my tree so he can get a better view into my garden. How should I approach this with him?"
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The mum then penned: "I'll start off by saying that I live in a really lovely close, where my neighbours are in red supportive & kind (I'm a recently divorced single mum). My next-door neighbours are generally really kind. Pop round to feed the cat when I'm away, put my bins out, help me with jobs I'm stuck with etc. However, Mr Neighbours is so unbelievably nosy.
"For example, when I was sunbathing on my trampoline he text me to check I was ok as he had 'noticed' I'd been asleep for a while [embarrassed face emoji] He regularly comments on what I've been doing when I've been in my garden [frustrated face emoji]. On a number of occasions I've directly told him to stop nosing into my garden, and also in front of his wife (she told him off too) (he looks out of their upstairs, spare room window).
"I have a tree that I'm growing to try to mask his view. I was away for a few days over Christmas and having come home, I see it's been cut to the level of the top of the 6ft fence. It's not a massive tree but it will help when (if it ever is allowed) to grow. I'm amused but equally fuming.
"My partner is going to build a canopy over my patio in the spring that will mask his view, but for gods [sake] ... this has now p****d me off. How would you approach this. They are generally really nice and kind people, but this is just a step over the mark".
The mum's post was met with hundreds of responses from fellow Mumsnet users keen to share their thoughts. One said: "Is the tree in your garden? He can't trim a tree in your garden, only trim overhanging branches from your tree across the boundary line!! If he has trimmed the top, I would be going round telling him he needed to buy me a new - taller - tree seeing as he wilfully damaged your one!!!"
Another commented: "Change your locks and get someone else to feed the cat. He sounds like the sort of creep who'd put a b****y camera in your bathroom. You need to be very blunt. I like my privacy and don't appreciate being watched."
A third suggested: "Just ask him directly why he trimmed the tree. Then ask him not to as you're growing it for privacy."
Another said: "Hmm, he sounds like a wrongun. He had no right to cut the tree on your side of the fence. Can you plant something further away from the fence that will obscure his view, well away from his tree loppers? Feel for you OP [original poster], sounds uncomfortable. We've had to plant out quite heavily as we have a pair of gawping neighbours. Nice people, but they like to watch everything and used to be able to see our entire garden. Would you have more luck talking to his wife?"
And another said: "I can’t believe you’re letting him get away with this! I’d be coming down heavy handed and presenting him with a bill for a replacement tree/hedge, with threats of the police if he carries on blatantly perving at you. And stop asking them for favours and letting him into your house ffs!!"
In her most recent update, dated April 30 2022, the mum added: "Hi .. sorry it's taken so long to give an update. Yes .. I confronted my neighbour about both his spying & cutting down my tree. He initially just laughed but then I 'launched' into more 'direct' language & pointed out how inappropriate & unacceptable his behaviour is. I made it clear that it needs to stop.
"I also spoke to his wife & gave her examples & occasions when he has been inappropriate - she was mortified, embarrassed & incredibly apologetic. He is now (in her words) sulking & is now avoiding me .. thank god.
I also spoke to another of our neighbours who is friends with my NDN [next door neighbour], & they were shocked & horrified at how he had been behaving & very supportive of my situation. All in all I feel much better & confident that it will not be re-occurring - I've made it clear if it does, I will be making his behaviour more public (rightly or wrongly)".
In response to the update, one Mumnset user commented: "Fantastic update! Hope he continues to behave himself". Another added: "I remember your post and have wondered how things were going. Well done for confronting him so directly and it’s great to hear his wife and your other neighbours have taken you seriously. Go you! I hope you and your daughter have a relaxed summer in the garden."
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