A mum has been branded "petty" and "controlling" after feeling "annoyed" her ex partner has decided to send their daughter to school with packed lunches.
The little girl is eligible for free school meals and though her mum insists her child enjoys school dinners and "happily tells [her] what she's had", she started asking for a packed lunch instead. The mum said no as "lunches are free" and she may get a "better variety" of food that way.
Later, she discovered that when the child is staying with her dad, he sends her to school with a packed lunch. The mum was "annoyed" this wasn't discussed with her first and took to Mumsnet's popular Am I Being Unreasonable [AIBU] thread to gauge the opinions of others.
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In a post titled "Annoyed over school dinner", she penned: "Dd [dear daughter] has just started primary and has two nights a week at dad's. She's never been a fussy eater but started asking for packed lunches. I said no as lunches are free and she's more likely to eat a better variety.
"She told me over Xmas her dad is sending her in with a packed lunch. I asked him and he's said on his days he's doing a packed lunch and on mine she's having school meals. Aibu [am I being unreasonable] to think that's confusing and should have been discussed with me first?" In a follow up comment, the mum added: "I'll be getting pestered for packed lunches now."
Her post was met with hundreds of replies from fellow Mumsnet users, keen to share their thoughts. One said: "Not sure what the issue is here." Another Mumsnet user accused the mum of "being ridiculous".
A third penned: "So what if she has packed lunch sometimes? It doesn't need to be discussed with you first. As long as he is providing lunch then it's not your business how he does it. As for you 'getting pestered' - that's what children do. You can say no."
Another Mumsnet user said: "Controlling much. Seriously this is not worth battling about. It's not costing you anything which was your main concern in your first post so let him do what he wants on his days".
A fifth commented: "If she prefers packed lunches, why don't you give her them then? You sound extremely petty and jealous. Stop being cheap and trying to justify it by saying she likes the school dinners. We all know school dinners are awful".
And another said: "What would discussing it have achieved? You've already said she can't have packed lunches OK your days so her dad asking wouldn't have made a difference. It's totally fine for her to have pack lunch on his days and not at all confusing. To be honest I've never taught in a school where the school lunches were that nice so many children have packed lunch".
One Mumsnet user said: "Confusing for who? He probably should have mentioned it but I can't see any real issue. She gets lunch from dad and probably one she prefers." And another commented: "Of course he didn't need to discuss with you first, how controlling of you. Pick your battles, this is not one worth anyone's time."
After reading through some of the mum's replies to Mumsnet users' comments, one person said: "Your desire not to be annoyed doesn't trump his desire to send her in with packed lunches. Will there be more drip feeds to try and justify your annoyance?"
And another added: "This discussion is a waste of time for everyone though as you don't seem to be asking for any reason other than validation. You are not getting it and reacting to every sensible post defensively. It's lunch. Your DD [dear daughter] gets lunch. It's fine."
One Mumsnet user joked: "OP [original poster]: AIBU? Everyone: Yes OP: No I'm not, waaaaah, not listening! (Reader, the OP was, indeed, wrong)." At the time of writing, 93% of Mumsnet users voted the mum was being unreasonable.
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