A mother of one has taken to TikTok to call out the “double standard” in the way moms and dads are perceived in society, despite performing the exact same actions.
Lucie Fink, inspired by artist Mary Catherine Starr‘s viral comic on the “double standards of parenting,” reenacted common situations parents tend to find themselves in while also sharing how an outsider may perceive them in these instances.
Her TikTok begins with the example of pushing a child in a stroller as the respective parent is scrolling on their phone. When the mother does it, she is viewed as an “inattentive mom” who should be paying more attention to her child, the TikToker claimed. However, when Fink shows a father also pushing a child in a stroller, he is viewed as an “involved dad,” despite the fact that he is also scrolling on his phone.
The video continued, showing both parents then bringing home fast food. If a mother does it, she is perceived to be “lazy” because she didn’t cook the meal herself, according to Fink. If a father does it, however, he looks like the “fun dad” bringing a treat home to his family, the TikToker alleged.
When a mom pushes a child on the swing, she is only a “run-of-the-mill mom” in Fink’s video. But when a dad does it, he’s “such a good dad”.
According to Fink, with mothers, most interactions with their children are looked at as “parenting moments” while dad’s are only babysitting. She also noted the existing concept of a “working mom,” while claiming there is no such thing as a working dad, only a dad.
Although, Fink wanted to make it clear that her TikTok wasn’t meant to be a way to insult her partner. “To be clear: this isn’t a comment on my partner, this is a double standard I see around the world,” she wrote in the video’s caption.
Since being posted on 9 August, the video has received over four million views and resonated with many commenters.
“Anytime I’m out with our three kids I hear, ‘wow you’ve got your hands full!’ and when my husband is out with our kids he hears ‘wow, you’re super dad!’” one commenter wrote, agreeing with Fink’s perceptions.
Another fellow mother agreed, writing, “The women in my family praise my husband & tell me constantly how lucky I am. I never get compliments. I’m just expected to do it all.”
One woman even said she puts some of the societal expectations on herself and didn’t realise she was. “The way I feel guilty for my husband putting in so much effort parenting but in reality he’s just matching my effort because we equally share the load,” the commenter wrote.
Fink isn’t the first person to comment on the double standards of parenting. Back in July, a mother of two exposed the “double standards” in parenting after her husband was praised for taking their toddlers to the grocery store.
Emily Belson, from Maryland, went viral on TikTok when she jokingly called out her husband for doing the “bare minimum” when it comes to raising their two sons. “My husband just got home from the grocery store,” she began the clip, which has since been viewed more than 100,000 times.
The 31-year-old mom explained that her husband took both their sons, who are one and two years old, to the grocery store where he was stopped by strangers and applauded for his parenting skills. “Three people stopped him to tell him what a great dad he was for taking them to the store,” Belson said.
The TikToker went on to share just how many times she’s brought her children along to the grocery store, but said she has yet to be stopped by a stranger.
“Do you know how many times I’ve taken both of my kids to the grocery store, to literally everywhere? A million,” she revealed. “How many people have stopped me to say I’m a great mom? Zero.”
