A mother has revealed how she’s been her children’s go-to parent in various situations, despite whether their father is around the house or not.
Toni Ann, @tinyann22, shared a video captured from her home’s Ring camera on TikTok earlier this month. She went on to describe the footage, which began with her son standing in front of the door, as: “When mom goes to the store and leaves kids with dad.”
Her three-year-old son proceeded to step closer to the Ring camera, as he opted to call his mother through it while she was out. When she answered, he told her that “his tablet was dead,” to which she responded: “Where’s Daddy?”
After he said that he didn’t know where his father was, he was joined by his older sister, who also told her mother that her tablet was “not working” and asked her where she was. The mother continued to poke fun at her daughter’s comment in the text over the video, writing: “She goes to complain…then realises…Mom had the audacity to leave the house.”
Toni Ann also addressed how her children continued to “ignore” the question about where their father was, as they kept expressing that their tablets were “dead” or “not working”. The clip ended with her son going to find his father, who was “right there in the garage”.
Speaking to The Independent, Toni Ann discussed default parent syndrome, which Psychology Today describes as a situation when one parent is “first in line when it comes to caring for children, child-related responsibilities, or home-related tasks”. She noted that, while her video does show that she is this kind of parent, this doesn’t mean that her spouse is “absent” from the family.
“In my situation, I am the default parent due to the way we function daily,” she explained. “Their dad leaves for work before they wake up, whereas I have a more flexible work schedule. We both work full time jobs, however, I thankfully have more flexibility as well as option to work remotely some days. With that said, I wake up with them and gather all school items and take them to school as well as pick them up. Therefore I am the parent more present weekly but their dad is there in evenings to help with bath and bedtime routines.”
In the caption of her TikTok video, the mother also poked fun at the situation, writing: “Moms can never get a minute of peace lol.”
In a follow up video, she noted that her son went on to find his father in the garage and that the tablet “was still dead”. She also shared a third video, with footage from the Ring camera that showed her three-year-old asking her where she was while his father tried to fix the tablet.
Toni Ann went on to discussed her family’s upbringing in the caption of her video, and noted that when her children need help with something, they tend to reach out to her.
“This is his first time with a tablet so he called me thinking it was dead, which it was not, he just hit the side button,” she wrote. “My kids get plenty of active outdoor life but are also allowed screen time…that’s life. Kids prefer mom over dad…also life.”
She then shared a fourth video from her Ring camera with more footage from her shopping trip. Her daughter could be seen asking her father for help, with Toni Ann noting in the text that her child “knows how to access the other parent”. In the caption, she also noted that her younger child “just prefers [her] over” her husband, since he’s a “mama’s boy”.
As of 27 March, Toni Ann’s video has more than 10 million views combined, with TikTok users expressing their amusement over the toddler’s decision to call his mother.
“Mom left for five minutes and the whole organisation fell apart,” one wrote, while another added: “The fact that he knew how to call you in an emergency.”
Other parents, both mothers and fathers, acknowledged how they could relate to the footage of Toni Ann’s children.
“I have literally watched my kid walk out of the room without saying a word and just go ask her mom a question, am I [a] joke to you,” one person wrote.
“This is hilarious,” another added. “My life in a nutshell. It’s always mommy and never daddy. I have to tell the kids multiple times they have another parent.”
A third wrote: “If this isn’t the epitome of what motherhood is.”
Speaking to The Independent, Toni Ann also noted that her husband isn’t offended when their children turn to her for help first. “I do think they come to me more for needs as I am majority the one to do it more often, but I don’t think that’s a bash on the other parent because of their work schedules and capabilities,” she said.
During an interview with Today, she responded to some of the online backlash about her videos, as some viewers assumed that her husband wasn’t around when his children needed him.
“I know my kids are safe with their dad,” she said. “Some people said he was ‘useless.’ It’s wild that people take the time to say nasty things.”
She also told The Independent that there wasn’t any negative intention behind her video, as she just wanted to show how “funny” her children were when they wanted a “certain parent”.
“My videos show my son bringing dad to the camera and still not connecting why I was asking for dad so he could resolve the ‘dead tablet” issue, but he wanted his mom in that moment,” she said. “Some days the kids want dad and some days the kids want mom around here.”
