The mother of former Miss USA Cheslie Kryst has said her daughter “hid” her depression from the world before she tragically died.
April Simpkins released a heartbreaking statement on Wednesday after the New York City Office of Chief Medical Examiner ruled her 30-year-old daughter’s death a suicide.
Ms Simpkins revealed that Ms Kryst, who won the Miss USA pageant back in 2019, had been dealing with “high-functioning depression”.
She hadn’t confided in anyone about her mental illness “until very shortly before her death”, she said.
“Cheslie – to the world, you were a ball of sunshine wrapped in smiles,” she said.
Ms Kryst was found dead on Sunday morning.
The 30-year-old is said to have left behind a note saying she “wanted to leave everything” to her mother.
The NYPD launched an investigation and an autopsy was carried out, with the coroner’s office announcing on Wednesday that her death was ruled a suicide.
Ms Simpkins said following the announcement: “I have never known a pain as deep as this. I am forever changed.”
“Today, what our family and friends privately knew was the cause of death of my sweet baby girl, Cheslie, was officially confirmed.”
She pointed to the struggles her daughter was facing in private while she was a “ball of sunshine” on the outside.
“While it may be hard to believe, it’s true. Cheslie led both a public and a private life,” she said.
“In her private life, she was dealing with high-functioning depression which she hid from everyone – including me, her closest confidant – until very shortly before her death.”
The grieving mother described her daughter’s life as “filled with many beautiful memories” and told how she will “miss all of her”.
“While her life on this earth was short, it was filled with many beautiful memories. We miss her laugh, her words of wisdom, her sense of humor and mostly her hugs,” she said.
“We miss all of it – we miss all of her. She was a vital part of our family which makes this loss even more devastating.”
Ms Simpkins said she and her daughter would speak every day and described her as her “very best friend”.
“Cheslie – to the world, you were a ball of sunshine wrapped in smiles. We talked, FaceTimed or texted one another all day, every day. You were more than a daughter – you were my very best friend,” she said.
“Talking with you was one of the best parts of my day. Your smile and laugh were infectious.
“I love you baby girl with all my heart. I miss you desperately. I know one day we’ll be together again. Until then, rest easy and in peace.”
Ms Kryst’s mother asked that, in lieu of flowers, donations be made to Dress for Success – “an organisation that was dear to her heart”.
She also urged anyone struggling with thoughts of suicide to reach out to the National Suicide Hotline.
Just hours before her death, Ms Kryst posted on Instagram for the last time: “May this day bring you rest and peace.”
An emotional essay Ms Kryst wrote for Allure in March 2021 has also resurfaced since her death, where she spoke about feeling “uncomfortable” growing older in the public eye.
“Each time I say ‘I’m turning 30,’ I cringe a little. Sometimes I can successfully mask this uncomfortable response with excitement; other times, my enthusiasm feels hollow, like bad acting,” she wrote.
“Society has never been kind to those growing old, especially women. (Occasional exceptions are made for some of the rich and a few of the famous.)”
Ms Kryst, who was also an attorney, was crowned Miss USA as Miss North Carolina in 2019.
She made history that year alongside Nia Imani Franklin, Kaliegh Garris and Zozibini Tunzi marking the first time that Black women held all four major titles in pageant history.
She was also a correspondent for entertainment news show Extra.
Ms Kryst’s sudden death came as a shock to those who knew her, with Gayle King saying earlier this week that “everybody who knew or worked with Cheslie is walking around in shock”.
Tributes poured in for the 30-year-old with The Miss Universe and Miss USA organizations saying they were “devastated” and describing her as “one of the brightest, warmest, and most kind people we have ever had the privilege of knowing”.
“Our entire community mourns her loss, and our thoughts and prayers are with her family during this difficult time,” the statement read.
Extra released a statement saying: “Our hearts are broken.”
If you are experiencing feelings of distress and isolation, or are struggling to cope, The Samaritans offers support; you can speak to someone for free over the phone, in confidence, on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email jo@samaritans.org, or visit the Samaritans website to find details of your nearest branch.
If you are based in the USA, and you or someone you know needs mental health assistance right now, call National Suicide Prevention Helpline on 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The helpline is a free, confidential crisis hotline that is available to everyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
If you are in another country, you can go to www.befrienders.org to find a helpline near you.
