"Spanking the monkey", "petting the poodle" and "pulling the python": all fitting euphemisms for masturbation, and closer to the truth than you might imagine. Self-pleasure is common across the animal kingdom: from dogs humping unwitting teddy bears to dolphins thrusting their penises into decapitated fish (yes, really), animal masturbation is a raucous affair.
In my team's new paper, my colleagues and I tested the hypotheses that primate masturbation could increase reproductive success and help avoid sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
