I remember the feeling of bewilderment the first time my older sister told me how tightly she grips her keys in her pocket if she is walking alone in the dark. Bewilderment, because as men we just don’t have to think that way.
And the reason for that? It is pretty simple: men have made our communities feel far too unsafe for far too many women. As first minister of Scotland – but more importantly as a father of two girls – this is not a situation I am prepared to simply accept.
Let’s be clear, this is not a situation unique to Scotland or the UK – women and girls the world over are suffering due to the actions of men. Barely a week goes by without a distressing report in the newspapers or on our television screens about a woman being the victim of harassment, stalking, abuse, violence, rape or murder.
The situation facing women and girls across the world terrifies me. We see abortion rights under attack here in Scotland, as well as across the world, with the decision to reverse Roe v Wade in the US and attacks on girls’ rights to education in Afghanistan.
Men cannot be passive bystanders when it is our actions that are causing such pain, suffering and misery – we have to take a stand. It is simply not good enough to say “not all men” and wash our hands of the problem we have collectively created; every single man can, and should, play his role in making change.
There is a great responsibility on me, as a male in a position of leadership, to do what I can in office to root out and tackle the toxic masculinity and male self-entitlement that leads to violence, harassment, misogyny and abuse against women. But there is also, I think, a great opportunity for all men in positions of influence to demonstrate real leadership on this hugely important issue.
Whether in politics, in the office, on the worksite, in school, the pub or our own living rooms, we can all do more as men to challenge problematic behaviour among our friends, colleagues and family members. But it is not enough to pontificate and lecture. A pious approach to tackling toxic masculinity will not solve this issue, nor, most crucially, will it make women feel safer.
While the influence and grip that celebrity misogynists, such as Andrew Tate, hold over thousands of young men and boys in Scotland should make us all uneasy, simply finger wagging is not the answer. If that is our only response, then we will continue to fail to understand why men and young boys gravitate towards the Tates of the world – and we will fail to understand what lies behind the anger.
As men, we must listen, we must learn, but we must also demonstrate what a positive male identity looks like to young boys and to other men. Frankly, there is not a grown man in the country today who has not been guilty of problematic behaviour, actions or words towards women in some form.
I am no different. Like all men, I have had to reflect on my own behaviour and language over the years. Without doubt, in my younger years I will have told a misogynistic joke at the expense of women, or not challenged behaviour that was demeaning to women.
We must ask men to reflect, to be honest and be willing to make the necessary changes in their attitudes, and join a global movement of men who want to stand up and become positive role models for their sons, grandsons, nephews, friends and colleagues.
Scotland has shown global leadership on a range of issues, such as the climate emergency. As first minister, I want Scotland also to lead on tackling one of the root causes of gender-based abuse – toxic masculinity – to build a healthier, safer and more equal society.
Humza Yousaf is first minister of Scotland and leader of the Scottish National party
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