Michelle Heaton shared a powerful yet emotional moment on Loose Women as she read out the letter her husband wrote to her while she was receiving treatment for her addictions. The Liberty X singer has been open about being at 'death's door' following a three-year cocaine and booze binge.
Last June, Michelle revealed in June to The Sun that she had been drinking as much as bottle of vodka, two bottles of wine and snorting cocaine every day since 2018. The pop star and TV personality said she was only saved by an intervention from showbiz pals led by Katie Price.
In August she appeared in her first TV interview on Loose Women after leaving rehab and on Thursday (May 5) she returned to the panel show as she celebrates one year of sobriety, admitting she finally feels "really strong."
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The show's anchor Charlene White asked Michelle how life is a year on to which she replied: "If somebody told me again nine months ago I’d be feeling free, happy, that feeling of the knots in your stomach and ‘not sure whether I can do this’... I think the fear is, ‘Can I actually do this?’ because all I knew the past seven or eight years is active addiction."
She added: "It’s hard to think about the new you because you don’t know who you are. I’m glad I made it. But it’s still one day at a time… I still do my programme.. I keep it so I can keep my sobriety."
Michelle, who appeared alongside Charlene as well Linda Robson, Jane Moore, and Sunetra Sarker, also spoke about the effect her addiction had on her two young children - Faith, 10, and eight-year-old Aaron.
"I had no regards to what was happening to my family," the 41-year-old replied. "It's shameful to say that sometimes they were in my way. When the kids really needed a cuddle, I just wasn’t there for them… It wasn’t until I got sober and clean could I recognise how I was behaving. And then the guilts come in. Working through guilt in sobriety is tough as well."
Michelle, who was able to return to the stage with her Liberty X bandmates Jessica Taylor and Kelli Young last year, went on to speak about a letter her husband Hugh Hanley wrote to her five days into her being clean. On the moment she received the letter while in The Priory, the mum-of-two said: "It was only then when I heard his words, being clean for the first time, that I could say 'Hi I’m Michelle, I’m an alcohol addict.' Thank God I did. I acknowledged what I was and from that day, I worked on it."
Michelle then read out part of the letter Hugh wrote to her. It read: "Watching you spiral like this has personally been very hard to deal with. I couldn’t talk to my best friend which was you. The last three years I’ve watched you spiral and turn into someone I don’t recognise. The strain that has been put on our relationship has been very demanding.
"I’ve been left embarrassed several times by the way you spoke to me in front of people, which was never you - you were always my biggest fan. Yet I found myself being the brunt of your anger and having to shoulder that while also trying to help the kids navigate your new behaviour.
"Your addictive behaviour has hurt me a lot 'Chelle, and it’s turned you into a liar - you’ve become someone who’s very untrustworthy." Michelle broke then down when she read a line from Hugh which said: "Your behaviour has robbed me of my wife and the kids of their mummy."
Clearly emotional, Linda hugged Michelle and Michelle said: "I don’t recognise that person… addiction got me and addiction created that person I don’t recognise now. But at the time I couldn’t recognise it."
Michelle said she was reading the letter to show how the "loved ones are affected" by those in "active addiction."
