Michael Flatley had a licence to twirl but the former Riverdance star's stab at a James Bond -style spy film has been dubbed a Dr No No.
Critics across the board have given Blackbird a one-star rating as it is released in cinemas this week.
Flatley, 64, said to be worth £200 million, stars in the thriller that he wrote, directed, produced and financed. He even shot some of it at his mansion in Castlehyde, County Cork.
But that won him no favours in Ireland, where Alan Corr of national broadcaster RTE said: "The snort-out-loud quotient is high."
The Guardian's Peter Bradshaw likened the acting to the "unsexy bits of a mid-80s porn film". The Telegraph dubbed it an "awful 007 rip-off", with its critic Ed Power calling it "unintentionally hilarious".
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Declan Burkey wrote in the Irish Examiner: "For the most part, Blackbird will leave you rather more shaken than stirred." Bookies Boyle Sports yesterday cut Flatley's odds on becoming the next James Bond from 100/1 to 250/1.
Flatley won Best Actor at the Monaco Streaming Film Festival, and his publicists claimed he was tipped for an Oscar.
Co-star Patrick Bergin lashed out at critics, telling the Irish Times: "Michael is a very intelligent, successful person and some people resent that."
Michael is best known for various Irish dance shows including Riverdance, Lord of the Dance, Feet of Flames and Celtic Tiger Live. He is understood to have retired from dancing in 2016.
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