Micah Parsons blamed his episode of sideline vomiting…

Micah Parsons blamed his episode of sideline vomiting on a poorly-timed pre-workout drink

If you were watching the Dallas Cowboys dismantle the Carolina Panthers on Sunday, it would’ve been impossible to miss Micah Parsons. To be clear, this is usually the case because Parsons dominates off the defensive edge, much like he did with 2.5 sacks, two tackles-for-loss, and three quarterback hits against Carolina.

But on Sunday, around halftime, curious reports floated around about how Parsons was vomiting on the Cowboys’ sideline. It was so notable that the Cowboys themselves had to confirm that their best player was, in fact, actually healthy. OK, but that’s still burying the lede for a person literally throwing up mid-game.

Something had to be off, right?

The Cowboys say Micah Parsons vomited on the sidelines twice but he is not sick

— Clarence Hill Jr (@clarencehilljr) November 19, 2023

As it turns out, Parsons genuinely wasn’t sick. Once Dallas capped its 33-10 win, the star pass-rusher explained that he had drunk some C4 Energy (a pre-workout) before the game. It didn’t sit well with Parsons’ stomach, leading to an adverse reaction he didn’t expect. Note: if Parsons had read For The Win’s Christian D’Andrea’s spiel about how this drink made it uncomfortable for him to just write about football, then a simple cause and effect should have determined the workout ale would’ve made it hard to play football.

Who among us, though?

Micah Parsons was not sick. He took some C4 energy powder before the game. “I got some water to help put it down. By the fifth play it felt like my heart was gonna jump outta my chest. I felt like I was about to explode. I’m never doing that shit again.”

— Jon Machota (@jonmachota) November 19, 2023

This is probably a good lesson for Parsons. Only drink pre-workout when you’re about to crush some weights — not when you’re needed to humble some 300-pound-plus men on the football field.

This was how Twitter reacted to Parsons' pre-workout vomit explanation

C4 before an NFL game is killing me https://t.co/UrGTi1PGrW

— charles (“you look good” – andy reid) mcdonald (@FourVerts) November 19, 2023

safe to assume this quote isn’t going in the testimonials https://t.co/nDAelHf39t

— Brian Floyd (@BrianMFloyd) November 19, 2023

Fox Booth joked Parsons was playing like he drank rocket fuel

…. he actually did https://t.co/xkOtjmU7N6

— Josh Norris (@JoshNorris) November 19, 2023

I had a half a scoop of pre-workout one time and felt like I was on the brink of death. https://t.co/e4aCzrXzCk

— Drea Blackwell (@KSBWDrea) November 19, 2023

Gotta love a healthy sponsor relationship lol https://t.co/HB6YGZ96fH

— Patrick Claybon (@PatrickClaybon) November 19, 2023

I started on the C4 train the other day and have quickly jumped off. Glad to know I'm not the only one. https://t.co/EbkxYLhgZZ

— Courtney Cronin (@CourtneyRCronin) November 19, 2023