Men are more likely than women to have thought about separating from their partner next year, a survey has suggested. A poll of 2,033 adults questioned for the relationship support charity Relate found that 35 per cent expected the cost-of-living crisis to put pressure on their partnerships in the next year.
Nearly a fifth of adults in relationships (19 per cent) have thought about the prospect of divorce or separation in 2023, according to the survey. It found that a quarter of men said they had thought about this compared with 14 per cent of women.
After the 2008 economic downturn, a Relate study found that couples worst affected by the recession were eight times more likely to suffer relationship breakdown. January 9 is known as "divorce day", as both lawyers and Relate say they tend to see a peak in enquiries after tensions come to a head over Christmas or people look for a fresh start in the new year.
Josh Smith, a Relate counsellor, said: “Financial worries are an issue for many couples and families we see at Relate – particularly when their household income is not keeping pace with the increasing cost of living. For couples at the beginning of a relationship, the cost of living can also impact how quickly they move in together, with some making the leap before they feel ready, to save money on bills and rent.”
He said a lack of space for an intimate relationship was often an issue for parents. "It’s important for partners to spend quality time together, but some activities like meals out or weekends away come at a cost, as does additional childcare.
“Financial pressures can also be problematic for families where there is conflict but the family feel they can’t afford to separate.
“We know from research that sustained and unresolved parental conflict is more detrimental to children’s emotional health than parental separation,” Mr Smith said. He said he would encourage couples to talk about financial difficulties openly and make it a shared problem.
“In some of the most painful situations I’ve come across while working for Relate, there have been secrets around money involved. Sometimes men can feel like they have to provide for their family and cope with financial problems on their own.
“As debt problems compound over time, the secret can feel harder to share. When it eventually is revealed, it can be very hard for the partner who was kept in the dark, to rebuild trust. I would really encourage someone who finds themselves in this situation to talk about it to a friend or write it down in a text if it’s hard to start the conversation with your partner.
“Making an appointment with a relationship counsellor may also be helpful, even if it’s on your own initially. Relate offers a phone chat service where you can book a 30-minute chat with a trained counsellor about a particular issue.
“If you’re experiencing any issues in your relationship, it’s important to talk about it and ideally to get support at the earliest possible stage.”
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