I was flicking through a newspaper supplement devoted to the future of retail and e-commerce (it was a slow day) and came across the following headline: “What retailers can learn from fandom flagships”. I naturally read on.
According to Michelle Du-Prât, chief strategy officer at Household, a brand agency that helped create the Harry Potter shop in New York: “These flagships are designed for followers. In these spaces, fans can connect over shared passions and celebrate their love for the brand. Hyper-engaged communities are consistently seeking out new experience and heightened levels of immersion.”
Blimey, breathless stuff or what? Once I’d calmed down, I realised that “fans” are actually just customers. I don’t suppose even the most fervent Harry Potter fan worships a shop.
Talking of retail matters, reader Kathy Enfield sent me the following, courtesy of John Lewis: “There’s a delay with your delivery at our sortation facility.” A warehouse, perhaps?
And now, once again, nouns used as verbs. On Channel 4 News one night last week, a spokesperson for Unison, the ambulance staff union, spoke of her members being “cohorted”. I still have absolutely no idea what she meant by this, but I daresay it will, sadly, crop up again.
Ian Longley sent me the following: “This from an ITV commentator during the England/Senegal game on Sunday evening. As the ball was knocked out of play the guy said, ‘The ball has exceeded the extremities of the boundary of the playing surface.’ ” Mr Longley adds: “I’m sure there is a more elegant phrase to describe this execrable language, but where I come from, it’s called gobshite.” Expertly put.
Finally, Liam Stenson got in touch with this gem: “Google have been emailing me for some time now to say ‘they are sunsetting Universal Analytics’ next July.” As he says, it could be a long twilight.
Email jonathan.bouquet@observer.co.uk
• Jonathan Bouquet is an Observer columnist
