I was much taken by the recent appointment of Maj Gen Sharon Nesmith as deputy chief of the General Staff, the first female lieutenant general, and her bold “mission statement”: “I feel deeply honoured to be appointed as deputy chief of the General Staff at such a pivotal time for the British army. I look forward to playing my part in leading our Future Soldier transformation to become a more lethal, agile, digitised and expeditionary force.”
Blimey, martial or what? Especially the use of the word lethal. And I have no doubt that she will succeed admirably in her aims, but I couldn’t help but be reminded of what the Duke of Wellington said, contemplating his troops on the eve of the Battle of Waterloo: “I don’t know what effect these men will have upon the enemy, but, by God, they frighten me.” I’m eternally glad that she’s on our side.
Her remark reminded me of a couple of my favourite military quotes. “C’est magnifique, mais ce n’est pas la guerre; c’est de la folie,” was General Pierre François Joseph Bosquet’s incomparable opinion on the Charge of the Light Brigade, while I especially treasure: “My centre is giving way, my right is retreating, excellent situation, I am attacking,” Marshal Ferdinand Foch’s message to Marshal Joseph Joffre during the first battle of the Marne in 1914.
After my column last week on going to hell in a handbasket, I was cheered by an email from Ruth Eversley: “The woman who thought we were ‘going to hell in a handbasket’ may have been influenced by the actor Joan Collins who once said she thought the country was going to hell in a ‘hand castle’.” She also pointed out a priceless remark from Grant Shapps, who recently said his department was going through legislation with a “fine tooth pick”. I fear being Boris Johnson’s chief apologist is finally getting to him.
• Jonathan Bouquet is an Observer columnist
